JIMBOB'S MOVIE REVIEWS

Film Review: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

2011-10-19T11:32:00.000+02:00

A plant form from outer space is slowly colonising America, one body at a time.

1950s America may be characterizied by a rising fear amoung the population that communists were slowly infiltrating every corner of society. Politicians, celebrities, your friendly neighbours across the road might be accused, without proper evidence, of being commi spies, such was the level of fear generated by politicians looking for votes. Put enough fear in a person and they'll do anything you ask; give you their lunch money; vote for you; go to war for you. Reason starts to fail and their minds become malleable. Films released at this time exploited this real fear. Monster mutation movies examined, comically, the possible effects of a nuclear fallout, horror movies like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" directed by Don Siegel in 1956 may, arguably, have used its story, of an Alien life form secretly inhabiting the body of your average American, as an allegory of the communist threat at the time.

In small town America, a doctor discovers that some of his patients have become suspicious of their loved ones, that theyre not quite themselves. Though sceptical at first, this is proved to be true in the most horrifying way. His close freind finds a clone of himself growing in his house. These clones are somehow coming alive, assuming the personalities of the original, then offing the original. Slowly, one by one, this life form is colonising America.

Some films tend to get a bit preachy about hot topics. A film about hostile invaders taking over America would resonate with alot of concerned citizens who might look for some sort of catharsis from thier fears. But theres more to this film than just cashing in on a "hot" idea. What this film does so well is pure and basic, it entertains. And the references to politics may only be in hindsight. With the directors ability to creates suspenseful, edge of your seat scenes with a genuinly engaging dialogue, its hard to believe that Don seigel would rely on such dirty tricks alone.

Goin away for a while!

2010-05-26T13:10:00.003+02:00

Hey people who visit my site sometimes. I won't be posting any reviews for a while as I'm going travelling for a year in Australia quite soon, in like a week, so I'm just trying to sort out all that goes into planning a year long holiday, which cuts into my movie watching and reviewing time. And on top of that it'll be a couple of months before I start posting new reviews, as it would kinda be best to enjoy the new country as much as possible and all that, without spending the large amount of time that goes into blog upkeeping. So there it is. See you in a few months!

Serial Mom (1994)

2010-05-12T22:07:00.007+02:00

OK, with my fine powers of acute observation, I have come to the conclusion that this film uses just one method to try and impress us: contrasting 50s style, middle class, suburban, normal, "happy" families.............with something that is shocking, murder. And comedy. That sums up the entire movie, for me anyway. Like it works up to a certain point, it just doesn't go that extra mile to be funny, like it's not trying hard enough. It's also as if they drew up a rough draft of the movie, and then just went with that. It doesn't feel like it got polished, or worked on. You feel like there's a gem of a movie inside there, OK we've seen these movies before, but if they only mulled over the dialogue and some of the plot points for a while, they might have turned something out that was genuinely funny.So the premise is interesting enough, even if we've seen it before. We meet our "happy family". It's ultra stylised. Mother: "Good morning darling! Hi kids! Don't forget your lunch Chip. Have a great day at school!". Ahhhh. A fly buzzes around the kitchen table, the mother flips her insanity switch, SPLAT! Awkward moment. The mother has a shocking secret...............she kills people in her spare time! Oh no. So the entire movie is just about her putting on this "loving mother" appearance, then snapping when people piss her off, then she offs them. And her family, and loving but really stupid husband, not putting two and two together, while friends and neighbours get wacked by psycho bitch.Kathleen Turner, who I now think is pretty cool, puts in a good performance and does the best with what she's got, which aint much. I had an odd feeling about Mrs. Turner before I knew much about her for some odd reason. But the more I see of her, the more I like her. Like, she played that stupid, but really hot blonde in "Romancing The Stone", but then I've seen her since in "The Man With Two Brains" and now this, and it seems like she's not afraid to go out on a limb, and take a risk with certain roles. Like, she doesn't mind looking silly, which I like alot. There's nothing worse than someone who tries their best not to look silly, but in control at all times. Just relax a little! And Kathleen doesn't seem to mind at all playing a psychotic serial killer. That's pretty cool.I haven't seen any of John Waters movies before, but from what I've read it seems like he relies on mainly being shocking. Now these days, in my opinion, it's pretty hard to impress by just being shocking alone. It actually gets really annoying and lame. And even around that ancient time of 1994 it would've seemed hard with the likes of David Lynch around doing well with that sort of thing, another guy who's movies I haven't seen much of , but by the sounds of it he was a total freak. Well this clip gave me a good idea anyway:Haha what a nut. Actually, lookin at Lynch's filmography, I haven't seen any of his films. SEE! I don't mind looking silly! Let's all do it! Come on guys and gals! Wouldn't eat panties on youtube though.Anyway this movie was eeeeeehhhhhhhh, alright. I don't want to hate on it too much, but it could have been better (insert condescending tone). Ricky Lake is in it. Ok I'm sorry if I've just put you off watching the movie altogether. Sam Waterston(stupid dad), Matthew Lillard(horror movie fanboy son, comments on horror movies while ACTUALLY being in a horror movie! Haha how awesome!), Susan Somers makes an appearance, Traci Lords is in it woohoo, and......that's it I think. I'll give it........................in my random movie that I actually give a score to.............................wait for it...........................wait for it........................6/10.

Bullit (1968)

2010-05-11T00:58:00.004+02:00

Bullit, directed by Peter Yates, stars Steve McQueen as Detective Frank Bullit, a tough as nails maverick cop who drives a Ford Mustang. But wait there's more. His job is: protect a key witness whose gonna testify against a crime syndicate in San Fransisco. Walter Chalmers (Robert Vaughn), an ambitious politician, wants him looked after until the day of the hearing. It's gonna do wonders for his career. But things don't go to plan, an attempt is made on the life of the witness. Bullit must get to bottom of this mess, while being pressured from above by the slimy politician who's threatening to crucify Bullit in the media if his witness doesn't get to testify.

And of course there is the classic car chase. Ford Mustang vs. Dodge Charger. Warner Bro's, who distributed the film, actually stood to make alot of mula out of the their kind advertising of the Mustang. What could be better than McQueen screeching his way around San Fransisco for an advertisement. "I fuckin want that!" are my thoughts exactly. I want a Mustang. I want to be Steve McQueen. I want Jacqueline Bisset as my girlfriend. Why not? For the love of God why not??? Great advertising.

Anyway, that car chase is really good. Nothin too flashy, nothin is made to look better than it really is. It's just really real, and friggin cool. The scenes weren't sped up, and McQueen did most of his driving stunts himself. Apparently he came to work one day and found his stunt man, Bud Ekins, being filmed drivin the Mustang and he got pretty mad, and cussed everyone out. What a badass. And San Fran is a great place for a car chase, with those crazy steep roads. What a great location. I think there has been better car chases since, but before the premier this was sposed to be a really huge event in action film history. It supposedly reinvented the car chase. Nicely done.

The story is simple enough. There are moments that will have you questioning Bullit's motives, but for the most part it holds up really well. Robert Duvall stars in a minor role as a cab driver, and has a decent crack at it. Jacqueline Bisset is the eye candy in the film as Bullit's girlfriend. She makes the odd appearance here and there, doesn't have much to say, but I'm OK with that. McQueen kinda just plays himself, he doesn't get to involved with his character, like he's kinda detached from everything, but in a way it works. If you're a cop, eventually things aren't gonna effect you that much and you'd get detached naturally. Maybe that was his plan all along, maybe not. Any how good job Steve.

I thought that I'd actually be like "holy shit, this film is great!!" before writing this review, but I've kinda toned down my enthusiasm . It's got a 97% approval rating on RottenTomatoes, but I dunno. It's like an 8/10 in my opinion. Just a really solid film. It's certainly not all non stop, sick to you're stomach action. The car chase is like 10 minutes long. But the rest of the film is slow paced, but still really interesting. So give it a look if you wanna tick it off that list of classics that you need to watch.

Oh, and that moment that kicks off the car chase is done brilliantly. Silence...........................................brooooooooom! Hell Yeah.

Masters of the Universe (1987)

2010-05-10T02:09:00.007+02:00

OK, so to be totally honest I wasn't too disappointed with this film. It's actually somewhat entertaining. I was planning on laughing throughout, pointing my finger shouting "haha how silly, like get a clue people" or something to that effect, which i did do here and there, but for the most part I actually just had fun going along with the craziness. Like the plot isn't that great, so what, it's He-Man for fug sake! Infact the idea is to keep the plot as simple as possible in my opinion, and up the hamminess. More hamminess please. It actually could have done with more ham. Totally over act He-Man and Skeletor's parts while keeping the earth beings playing it totally straight, like "What the fuck are monsters doing in California!!?? Woooaahh stop the boat! What the hell is going on??? What the fuck is that little midget troll thing?" Something like what Jay does in Dogma. "The fuck! Who the fuck?? What the fuck??"

So the plot goes: Skeletor(Frank Langella, guy who plays Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon) has taken control of castle Greyskull, and has taken the hot Scorceress(Christina Pickles) prisoner with his magic powers. Woooooooo scary..... Outside in the land of Eternia there was one mother of a huge BATTLE! that just took place where Eternia's warriors were decimated by Skeletor's armies, which we never get to see. Extras are too expensive(even for a $17 million film) so we see like 5 of skeletors warriors ambushed by our hero, the one the only, Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, "I Have The Powerrrrrrrrr!!!".................HE-MAN!!!! Played by Dolph Lundgren. Who is possibly, scratch that definitely the worst actor in the film. He kinda says his line then looks at his muscles to reassure himself that he's got something to offer. "Jesus that line was terrible, but god almighty do I have great pecs".

Anyway, makin this simple.......He-Man, along with Man-At-Arms(cool name I think) and Teela find this little troll midget dude, Gwildor, who fucked up and gave Skeletor a teleporting device, the cosmic key, but Gwildor kept a prototype. They enter the Castle to save the Sorceress, but have to leg it when they're outnumbered, and transport themselves to a totally random part of the universe............happens to be California, United States, Planet Earth. Low Budget.

Julie(played by Courtney Cox, very well I think) is planning on leaving town to start a new life. She's saying her last goodbyes to her boyfriend Kevin, when they stumble across the cosmic key, which got lost in He-Man and co's teleportation. Skeletor and co are able to track this device, and when they eventually do, all hell breaks out in the small Californian town. He-Man must retrieve the Cosmic Key, prevent innocents on Earth getting caught up in the mess, return to Castle Greyskull and save the hot blonde Sorceress. Skeletor wants to enslave He-Man, his eternal pain in the ass, return to Eternia with the last remaining cosmic Key, and become a super god when Eternia's moon aligns with castle Greyskull. Understandable.

It's a really easy film for people to hate on, but it's got it's good points too. Mainly, really cheesy characters who are fun to watch when they're not taking things too seriously. Courtney Cox was good to watch, as was James Tolken(Bald guy in Top Gun) who plays this "cop with an attitude". The effects are terrible, but you know they're "so bad they're good" in a way. As I said Dolph Lundgren was woeful, but he never had that much dialogue, other than "let's go!" or "come on!". The little midget guy was quite annoying. Other than that, not such a terrible way to spend an afternoon.

Radio Days (1987)

2010-05-06T16:45:00.006+02:00

Radio Days was directed by Woody Allen, and is quite a hard film to explain. I haven't watched that many Woody Allen films, the reason being whenever I sit down to watch one, I seem to come up with a brilliant excuse not to watch it. I don't know why it is but they don't get me hooked in. Every character feels like they're Woody. Every character seems to just channel Woody's persona, and I just lose interest. Some people might say the same thing about Quentin Tarantino, that all his characters seem like replica's of himself, but his movies are still genius in my opinion, so it's hard to explain really.

So as I said this movie is really hard to explain, plotwise. The only explanation I can give of it is that it's more about just capturing the feeling and atmosphere of a Jewish family living in New York from the late 1930's to the mid 1940's and the Golden Age of Radio before those evil moving picture sets came to town. So Woody grows up listening to the radio, and imagining all these great shows like "The Masked Avenger" in his head, as you would with radio, and there seems to be some great benefit to doin it this way, rather than actually watching TV. I don't know.

Anyway, it's an Ok film. I personally could not relate to any of it. It's a nostalgic film, for people who once lived similar lives to Woody, and for the rest of us it's just an interesting thing just to observe and try appreciate for what it is. I thought it looked, and sounded great, like if I saw a small clip of it I'd think that it was something really special. But when you add all the parts together, it just doesn't do much. The obvious reason being that it doesn't really have a plot. It's more like a bunch of comical little scenes stitched together, with snappy screwball dialogue, but what it all amounted to was just a bit random in my opinion. I wish I could "get" it but I just didn't. Maybe it's coz i'm just a big stupid head.

The Pawnbroker (1965)

2010-05-04T17:01:00.005+02:00

The Pawnbroker is one of the greatest character studies I have ever seen. It tells the story of Sol Nazerman(Rod Steiger), a German-Jewish university professor who survives imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp, only to see his wife, children, friends, everything that he ever loved taken away from him in the most brutal and terrifying ways possible. We observe Sol, twenty years on, living and working in Harlem, New York City.

He runs a pawnshop, and encounters every sort of scumbag and cretin around. A coke head selling his mothers radio for a lousy two dollars for his next fix, a racketeer who uses Sol and his business as a front for his own shady dealings, and then there are people that basically visit Sol just for the conversation, just to hear themselves talk, and feel connected to someone. But Sol is on his own planet altogether. What he has done is subconsciously rid himself of any emotion whatsoever. He's gone totally numb from the experiences he's had. If you can imagine having everything you ever knew, everyone you ever loved being, witness the death of all of that, and to survive it all, just try and imagine how in the world someone could cope with that. What would you do? You now run a pawnshop, a guy comes in to your store, tries to start up a conversation about the weather or some shit, and you're thinking about that day you saw your wife raped by German officers. Or seeing your best friend chased by Alsatians then beaten to death with clubs. You'd be living in hell for the rest of your life. I can't begin to imagine how it really feels, but I can understand on my own basic level.

Basically this movie is seriously depressing. It's brutal. There's no redemption or salvation from his life and it's terrifying to witness. And just thinking about the fact that there are millions of Sol Nazerman's out there in the world who have their own stories to tell is just frightening, and really scares the shit out of me. And the way that life has that tendency to repeat itself over and over again throughout every decade and century is just.....oh my goooooood.......aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! I know this is just a movie, but it really effected me on a personal level, OK to a waaaaaaaaaaay lesser degree than Sol Nazerman, but I can still connect enough with the basic feelings of it. It's one of those movies that just really hits you with a ton of bricks, and leaves you shattered. The movie that comes closest to it in my mind is American History X, or in terms of the study of loniless would be Taxi Driver. That kind of film. Really makes you think. So if you wanna be depressed for the next month or so, watch the Pawnbroker! But honestly it's one of the best movies I've seen, with one of the most convincing performances I've ever had the privilege to witness thanks to Rod Steiger.

Attack! (1956)

2010-04-30T03:29:00.002+02:00

Attack! is an American war film directed by Robert Aldrich starring Jack Palance and bad boy Lee Marvin. It's about courage, honesty, standing up for what is right, and condemning to the depths of hell cowardly and dishonest behaviour, and it's just the kind of movie I like. It's easy to get real worked up about some of the bastards in this movie, while also cheering on the heroes. So it tells the story of an American front line combat unit in Belgium, during WWII. Col. Clyde Bartlett(Lee Marvin) runs the show, and he's placed Erskine Cooney(Eddie Albert) as Captain to help his post war political career. See, Erskine is the son of a top judge in the states, and the judge wants to make a war hero out of his cowardly son. Bartlett can use the judge's help after the war, two agendas meet conveniently as one, and you have a fuck up of a situation that follows. The opening scene shows a platoon get shot to pieces, and we learn later on that Cooney could have saved the men and provided support but he's too yellow! The sniveling little runt. See what I mean about getting worked up! Lt. Harold Woodruff (William Smithers) and Lt. Joe Costa (Jack Palance) are two brave fighters who are fuckin pissed off that a snivelling runt such as Cooney is in charge of the troops. Moral is low, so Woodruff tries to reason with Col. Bartlett to get rid of Cooney. But Bartlett is one step ahead. He's fairly frank with Woodruff, being unpretentious he knows that Cooney is nothin but a yellu belly, but he's heard from above that the chances of this unit seeing combat again is 100/1. So he's willing to play the game to get what he wants. Woodruff doesn't like the sound of Cooney staying on, but the news of the unit's slim chances of battle again lifts his spirits enough for him to go along. Then UH OH! seems like there's a new smell of Nazi around the place, Lt. Costa must send his platoon into a small neighbouring town for a reconnaissance mission. Costa must obey, but warns Cooney that if he fails to provide support and chickens out again, he'll "stick this grenade down (his) throat and pull the pin!". Hell yeah. So, the platoon get sent into the small town that low and behold is ridden with SS and fuggin Panzers. Costa's unit is torn to shreds, and where is Cooney? Downing whiskey because he's too scared to enter combat. He tells them to pull out instead and just basically run back, that's the best thing to do. I know situations in war get exaggerated in movies, but I was out of my seat punching at an imaginary Cooney in my living room, yelling and screaming. What a bastard. Anyway, before I reveal the entire movie, I'll just say that this is one hell of a movie to get riled up about. And the way in which the heroes deal with the crummy situation is great to be apart of. It's like a lessons of life movie. Lotsa great examples of how to deal with sonsabitches.

Boxcar Bertha (1972)

2010-04-26T22:07:00.003+02:00

So this was an interesting one. Martin Scorsese directed this just a year or so before directing Mean Streets. It was produced by Roger Corman, a dude who was famous for his Exploitation B-Movies, so what you get here is a few sex scenes every so often, mixed with bright coloured bloody violence to keep the audiences at the drive-ins interested enough while they waited for the main feature to start. Added to the mix is Scorsese's very personal touches, like the exploration of themes of loneliness and religion. Include his wacky editing techniques. You get the feeling that he's still learning his trade, while trying to impress with his choppy editing, especially in the opening scenes.

Bertha Thompson, played by Barbara Hershey, was supposedly an actual person, an outlaw folk hero around the time of the great depression. However, as far as I can tell, this movie bears very little resemblance to her real life besides her name being Bertha and her freight train exploits in the Southern Territory. When her father dies tragically in an airplane accident, she decides to head off into the world on her own riding in boxcars, where she meets David Carradine's character "Big" Bill Shelley. Bill is a union man, and he's fed up with the railway establishment, and all that goes along with that. There's riots, angry speeches to workers, violence, all that sort of thing. So Bertha falls in love with Bill, and what we see from here on is a sort of Bonnie and Clyde relationship develope. They rob trains, rich people, run away from the law, get jiggy with it, get caught, break out of prison and so on so forth. Exciting stuff, but it's still a small bit of a rip-off of the original. But Scorsese makes things interesting with his personal touches, like the violence, it's quick and to the point, kinda grim. There's nothing glorious about dying. Well done in my opinion.

It's really not like any of his other works in certain ways. Like the tone of it all. There's an upbeat kinda feeling to it all. And then suddenly you're hit with terrifying scenes of extreme violence and racism. But for the most part it feels like you're watching Starsky and Hutch. It's an exciting adventure, then smack! you're presented with something terrible. Alot of great directors seem to use juxtapositions like this quite well. In his other films you're kinda always expecting the violence, whereas here it's totally out of the blue, and done in sort of a comical way almost, but grim at the same time, quite hard to explain really.

Anyway, this is one of his films that seems to get overlooked, but it's really interesting seeing his progression from this to Mean Streets and so on. There's some mediocre acting (Hershey and Carradine are quite good, but alot of amateur acting), poor sets, overly choppy editing in some parts done to impress, scenes thrown in to keep Roger happy( required sex and violence scenes). But then there's also some really great aspects to it. So give it a watch if you're a real fan of the director.

Carlito's Way (1993)

2010-04-26T00:49:00.004+02:00

Ok so Carlito's Way was directed by Brian De Palma roughly I think 10 years after he directed Scarface. Both star Al Pacino as the principal character, but differ alot story wise. Scarface was about an immigrant criminal climbing the ladder of gangster life, and ultimately flushing his success down the crapper with his drug habit. Whereas Carlito's Way is about an immigrant criminal who's had enough of it all, basically he's just run out of steam, but he's finding it hard to leave the "life". Crime follows him around like an old mangy dog that follows you around alot, you know what I'm talkin about? Ya I don't quite know myself.

Sean Penn(frackin brilliant in this) plays this hot shot lawyer who's clients are all mobsters, and he gets Carlito out of a 30 year sentence after only 5 years served. So Carlito is obviously over the moon and basically in love with this guy. But now that he's out he wants to go straight. Once he ran a huge drugs operation on the streets and was in charge of like 90 guys, so he's a legend around the streets. But now all he wants to do is get some money together, $75 000, so he can set himself up as a used car dealer in the Bahamas. His old crime buddies laugh their asses off when they hear about this, but Carlito is determined.

First he's gotta get the money together, so he takes charge of a club who's customers are basically all Mafia "made" guys. And slowly but surely, he lands himself straight back into his old lifestyle, but he's willing to pay the price for his dream. But soon he finds himself too far in, "past the point of no return" as he says. Will he ever get to where he wants to be? Will he get the girl?(there's a bit of romance, underwritten in the script really) Will he sell cars one day? Will his past fatally catch up with him? Watch and find out!

So this is a really well made film, and it really has a terrific ending, it just seems to hit the right note perfectly. You've probably all seen this, it's really well known and all, but I just thought I'd give it some more praise.

My 10 amazing movie facts about me!

2010-04-20T01:35:00.009+02:00

Ok, Aiden over at Cut The Crap Movies tagged me, I'm tagged, I have to reveal my most personal movie related secrets about myself to the three people that read my site. 10) I don't know much about movies. I've seen what I've seen and I'm happy with that. I think I've seen alot of movies, but I can't quite gauge where I am in the spectrum of movie knowledge. In my daily dealings with people, I don't come across many genuine movie buffs, so it's hard to say, but if I ever ended up in genuine movie geek company I reckon I'd have to BS my way through most of the conversation. 9) My earliest memory of watching a movie was going to a drive-in in Durban, South Africa (born and bred there now living in Ireland) I think to watch one the Ninja Turtle movies. Can't remember which. All I remember was Ninja Turtles, and falling asleep before it started, and I think I just woke up to catch the ending. Oh and Michelangelo was my favourite.He's definitely cooler than this dude8) Cool Hand Luke changed my life. You know when times are tough, your toast falls butter side down, you can't find your keys, things just don't go your way, you just put up with things. Well watching Cool Hand Luke was like waking up and saying "f*&%K it!" I'm not gonna put up with this crap no more! Like Luke did. He wasn't gonna let Dragline beat him, and just basically not take any crap from anybody, especially no Boss's!7) I've never met anyone in the movie making business who's famous. The most famous person I've seen in close proximity is probably Stephen Hunt who was playing for Premier League club Reading at the time. Don't you wish you were me.6) I loved The Neverending Story when I was a young. Why? I cannot even begin to imagine, and I'm actually quite pissed off now that I liked it so much. Why couldn't I have been cooler as a kid????5) I prefer watching the classics but I watch new crappy releases just to be in the know.4) I actually liked Avatar alot. Just didn't like the way Cameron threw alot of money at it kinda expecting an Oscar from it. But liked the movie alot. I think the characters were very complex! 3) I want to be Quentin Tarantino!2) I have about 40 dvds in my massive, huge movie collection. I can't even get in and out of my room it gets so cluttered. But mostly I watch my movies on Sky Movies. 1) Drumroll.........................and now for Jimbob's most personal movie related secret.....................I think John Wayne was better than Clint Eastwood. Clint is awesome as hell, but no one can top a character like John T. Chance in a western in my opinion.

The Misfits (1961)

2010-04-09T02:54:00.005+02:00

The Misfits is a film directed by John Huston and is quite an odd film to watch, but for the most part it keeps you glued to the screen. The cast is just brilliant: Clarke Gable(his last film), Marilyn Monroe(her last film), Montgomery Clift(he was awesome in Red River and quite good in this) and the crazy dude from The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Eli Wallach.

So what we have here is: Roslyn Taber (Monroe) is this kind of character who is fed up with the way life has turned out for her, and is lookin for meaning in life and blah blah all that. She's in Reno to divorce her rich businessman husband who was never "there" for her. "There" meaning that he never talked to her or they never really got to know eachother boo hoo. Gay Langland (Gable) and Guido(crazy fella from The Good the Bad and the Ugly) are these aging cowboy types. "The west has gone! The east has arrived! Now we'll have to earn wages! Goodbye to the cowboy lifestyle! No more cattle drives! Oh no!" That kind of thing.

So the aging cowboys get by in life by catching wild mustangs that are too small for rodeos, so they get made into dog food. Pretty sad actually. In thier younger days they would have sold the horses for actual transport purposes, but with the arrival of the demon machines, gasoline engine mechnaical beasts, horse transpotation soon became obsolete, and the horses soon became dog food. So what was once exciting and a decent living for the two cowboys has now become something terrible, horses->dogfood.

Well the cowboys and Roslyn(and her friend) meet in a restaurant, and strangely they all just decide to go live in Guido's(Wallach) house in the desert for a while. Well with Marilyn Monroe being amazingly hot, the two cowboys just want to get it on with her, and she being really naive this is what happens. The rest of the film is just about how terrible their lives have become, them trying to "find" themselves, and Roslyn getting hella pissed off at what the cowboys do for a living. It's worth a watch, but it is quite depressing at the same time. It was suppose to have been a classic, what with he great cast and director and good writer and all, but never really lived up to it's potential. Marilyn Monroe is hot.

Real Genius (1985)

2010-04-08T02:50:00.003+02:00

Well this was OK, not the greatest thing I've ever watched but watchable enough. You could get slightly tempted to reach for the remote and switch the channel, but the movie never really pushes you that far. It's got Val Kilmer, an actress who I was convinced was Selma Blair who's not Selma Blair, and.....that's about it. There's a few other actors who I just won't care to mention, since I really haven't a clue who they are.

OK so this is a "college kids having fun with science" type of movie. Yay how fun. I don't know. I can't understand the idea of science being fun, at all. Unless there was some huge chemical disaster turning people into zombies, I am just not interested. More lab disasters in school would have spiced things up alot. But alas it just wasn't meant to be.

So as simply as possible, the plot: There's a 15 year old kid genius, there's a college professor who's been hired by the CIA to build a laser beam that zaps people from space, and there's Val Kilmer's character who is a genius but says "heck I want to be cool!" so goofs around alot. A genius who's hip with the young crowd. So the professor wants them to build this Laser beam contraption all under the pretence that it's their course work. But soon they find out they're building a device that is designed to kill and the rest of the plot is shaped around that.

It's OK. Val Kilmer's character was just too hip for my liking. I got the fact that he wanted to be cool, doesn't everybody, and not such a stressed out academic type, but most of the time he just tried too hard. Like, he'd be an OK guy to hand around with once in a while, but hang around him too long and I'd really just get annoyed that he was trying to be cool all the time. Take a rest, just be normal!

Overall, I couldn't care less, watch it, don't watch it. It's just OK.

Kick-Ass (2010)

2010-04-05T22:58:00.008+02:00

Kick-Ass, ya another comic book adaptation, is directed by Matthew Vaughn and is really, really good. Watching the trailer we see Mclovin dressed in his Red Mist costume jumping off of a dumpster hurting his foot "ow, that kinda hurt!", and we get the feeling that this is gonna be one long superhero movie piss take. But that's really far from the truth of it. It actually takes itself seriously.

Another line from the trailer :"How come nobody's ever tried to become a superhero?" to which his buddy replies "Dude, if anyone did it in real life they'd get there ass kicked. They'd be dead, like, in a day". Ok so we get the feeling that this film is based in real life, and this guy, Dave Lizewski, is gonna try his hand at costumed crime fighting. So we're interested from the get go. Maybe we'll get to see how this would work if someone actually tried it. It would be really cool to see. And what happens? He gets his ass beaten again and again, and it's quite funny, but at the same time you feel kinda sad for him. Like he's so sick of being mugged all the time, that he invents the superhero character for himself to fight back at "life", but life just kicks his ass even harder.

But it's really cool the way that he trudges on. He's stabbed in the stomach(ya this is real life buddy) but he just says "F*&$K it!" and carries on the dream. While out on a major superhero mission to find a missing cat, he unwittingly gets involved in a gang brawl. At first he reacts like any normal human being would, he's afraid to do anything while one guy gets punched and nearly kicked to death. But after a moments thought(or moments insanity) he turns into his superhero character, Kick-Ass. And for the next two minutes he gets his ass whooped. But after a while he kinda gets into the swing of things, and delivers his own ass kicking moves on the thugs. Someone in the diner yells "Hey there's a guy dressed up as a superhero fighting a bunch of guys!" and everyone in the diner rushes out to watch the craziness, recording the action on their mobile phones. Kick-Ass actually drives the thugs away with his crude crime fighting techniques (just him swinging sticks around wildly basically). The video appears on YouTube: an Internet sensation is born!

From the reviews I had read before watching the film, I had heard that Hit-Girl was really the star of the show, and I kept waiting and waiting for her appearance. And finally she arrived. So Hit-Girl is like twelve years old, and cusses like a person that cusses alot. Now she's the real deal. She actually IS a superhero, no super powers, except for her unnatural ass kicking ability which works just fine. Her father, Big-Daddy(Nick Cage-quite good in this actually) has raised her to kill. He himself dresses like Batman and actually kills lots of bad guys. So from the realm of reality that we thought we were in, here are two genuine superheros who enter the picture. "What the hell?" I asked.

This is where alot of people had problems with the film. Wasn't it supposed to be about a real guy tring to become a superhero? And failing? Suddenly it turns into an actual superhero movie. People start dodging bullets. Wasn't this all supposed to be plausible? No. The thing is that it was always a superhero movie. Kick-Ass, real name Dave Lizewski, is a normal guy IN A SUPERHERO STORY! It still turns out to be really entertaining, and Hit-Girl IS the star of the show.

It might have been nice to go with the Dave Lizewski turning into Kick-Ass as the main focus of the story, and have it end on a realistic note, and that would have been a great movie to see. However the way it really turns out is still really good. The dialogue is really funny. It's like watching Superbad again. The action is really impressive for an Indie film on a budget of only $28 million. The music is great! The theme music from For a Few Dollars More rears it's melodic head, and is really well done, and I felt that it really fit the scene well. There's Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation", and again it gels really well with the scene. Throw in some Prodigy as well and you have a classic soundtrack. And a really good film.

The Last Emperor (1987)

2010-03-26T22:15:00.006+01:00

This film was directed by Bernardo Bertolucci in 1987, six years after his previous film. It's about a boy named Puyi who was made emperor of China when he was 3 years old. And it's really good. It was the first time ever that a film was given permission to shoot footage inside of the Forbidden City, the actual place where this guy lived.

Puyi is made emperor of China in 1908, when he is just three years old. But it's just out of convenience really, China now has a president who controls the show. Puyi can do what ever he wants except leave the grounds of the Forbidden City. Why? I don't know. Powerful people like to make rules like this. So at 7 years old (big word alert) he abdicates the thrown. So he gives up what little power he had, which was like none. A Scottish tutor, played by Peter O'Toole, arrives to educate the boy on all of life's lessons. He's a worldly knowing type, whereas Puyi only knows about the goings on of his prison like home. So Puyi is impressed by the tutor, and now wants to "spread his wings" and fly the coop. He wants to be a modern man with a modern wife who can dance.

When Puyi is in his 20s he is forced to leave the Forbidden City. So happy days, that's what he wanted. He moves to Japan, because the emperor there is the same age as him and they become buddy buddy with each other. Puyi turns into that "Asian trying to be a Westerner type" and we see him with a western style haircut, he refers to his wife now as Elizabeth, and we see him in a tux leaning against a piano crooning to some hip western tune.

Japan has an agenda going meanwhile. They want to take over Manchuria from the Russians, as a strategic base for when they bomb the Chinese. They're gonna set up Puyi(Manchuria was his birthplace) as a puppet ruler. Puyi thinks that the Japanese are just doing him a good turn. When this happens(alot of Chinese are killed under Puyi's "return" in the process), the Japanese slowly start to take more and more control of the running of things. Puyi got played. Then the Russians land and take Puyi as prisoner. Things rapidly go downhill for ol Pu man. He's transferred as a war criminal into Chinese hands, where he will enter a re-education camp.

So he's being re-educated as well as being interrogated in this camp, and the story of his life is told through these long flashbacks that make up the entire film. It really is brilliantly done. John Lone does a great job portraying Puyi from the age of 20 or so on. The scenery is really amazing. The constant yellow and red colouring of the Chin Dynasty is seen throughout his childhood, and the flushed out colour of his time in the prison camp gives you that depressed, sick of life, everything is terrible feeling. The costumes are brilliant and really make you feel like you're seeing the real thing. The only complaint is that the Chinese spoke plain English. I can read subtitles! Make them talk Chinese and let it be authentic!! But I got over that soon as this is a really awesome film!

Tony Manero (2008)

2010-03-26T15:12:00.012+01:00

Tony Manero is a Chilean film directed by Pablo Larraín, and it's about a guy who's obsessed with John Travolta's character in "Saturday Night Fever". It's one odd film. But brilliant at the same time.

Alfredo Castro plays Raúl, a guy that has a one track mind. To the escape the brutal realities of Pinochet's Chile in 1978, he tries to become his idol, Tony Manero. At the start we see him waiting outside of a local television set. He's there to become Chile's next "Tony Manero" in a dance off competition, the top prize is a blender. But he's got it wrong, this week is the best Chuck Norris lookalike competition, the Tony Manero Dance Off is next week. Now this guy is a walking zombie. There's no emotion from him. He doesn't get angry, but is just like "OK" and walks off. You never know what he's really thinking, or if he's even thinking at all. There's no emotion whatsoever.

So he's got a week to kill before his television appearance. He's got no job. And I assume that he just sponges off of people to get by. He is one seriously dislikable character. Sitting in his apartment, he hears commotion outside. A couple of thugs have robbed an old lady. Raúl runs downstairs to help, or so we think anyway. She's so grateful to him that she invites him for tea. After a while, having eyed the colour television set, he bashes the old lady's brains in. Seriously this comes straight out of left field. I never saw it coming. It is seriously disturbing.

What Raúl does for a living is dance. He's in charge of a low rent dance troop that practices Tony Manero's dance routine. Two of the dancers show him a couple of original moves that they have come up with to add to the show but Raúl replies "That's not in the movie!". He's got a serious case of assholeness. So they practice and practice and now they get their chance to perform for like 8 or 9 people lookin for cheap entertainment. Raúl has constructed a glass dance floor that glows from beneath just like in "Saturday Night Fever"(well not exactly alike but that's what he thinks) as well as his own disco ball(a soccer ball with broken bits of mirror stuck to it). You just have to applaud the guy for his effort.

But there's that really, really dark side to Raúl. He'll do anything to improve his standing in the world, including murdering an old lady as I've already said. When his local cinema starts showing "Grease" instead of "Saturday Night Fever" he flips his carrot and murders the projectionist. When he's buying the glass for his dance floor, he murders the seller because he hasn't enough money. And there is absolutely no emotional reaction at all when he does these things.

There's also a really great parallel drawn by the film. Raúl represents Chile in a way, and the search for it's identity. In the film notes the director talks about the way in which "Chile has blood on it's hands, but tries it's best to be trendy and stylish, dancing under flashing strobe lights all in the name of progress". Raúl never reflects on the things he has done. He's always on the lookout for the next best thing to improve his standing. He thinks that by pretending to be Tony Manero, that all his problems will disappear. But they're all hollow dreams. He lives in fantasy land, and never deals with reality.

Overall this is one seriously interesting film. There's very few things to laugh at, but I'd say after a while when you think back over it you'll be in stitches laughing. It's like experiencing a really horrible incident, but thinking back over it a month or two later it sounds hilarious. But very, very, very disturbing at the time.

Shutter Island (2010)

2010-03-25T23:56:00.008+01:00

Well, well Shutter Island. I love this film. I am actually in love with it. Everything about it is pure genius. Martin Scorsese is the effin man. Can I praise it any more? Will I praise it any more? Yes and yes. Scorsese is simply a master at storytelling. There's few films that have this sort of effect on me. Chinatown, There Will Be Blood, Kill Bill 2 were examples and now I'll add this mo foer of a masterpiece to that list. Everything about it blew me away and I'm not being pretentious about that.

Where to start? Honestly. It's fantastically amazing! OK I'll try and tone down the excitement already. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Teddy Daniels, a U.S Marshall sent to Shutter Island. On this island is Ashecliff Hospital, it houses the criminally insane. Apparently, one of the inmates(a woman that drowned her three children) has escaped, or more to the point seems to have vanished into thin air. He has been sent here along with his new partner Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) to investigate her disappearance. The head honcho on the island is Dr. John Cawley (Ben Kingsley), this smart academic type who has a smell of Nazi about him. As Teddy interviews some of the nutters, he begins to grow more and more suspicious of the hospital's psychotherapy treatments. But there's another reason for Teddy being here. He's here to find a man that he believes has killed his wife. Along the way Teddy starts to doubt his own sanity. More and more he starts to distrust everyone around him. And then there's one mother of an ending to top things off.

I'm reminded alot of Hitchcock's movies when I think about this film. Films with great stories and great characters, that delve alot of the time into psychological territory, and shine a light on the madness and violence that live in some people's minds. You start questioning everything in Shutter Island. What's real? What is not? What the hell is going on? But you're always in very safe hands with Scorsese. Sure there's lots of twists and turns along the way but for some reason there's no feeling of total confusion. The basics of it are easy enough to grasp. Well I might be blowing my own trumpet a bit but I found it easy enough to follow. This is one great, great movie.

Home Alone (1990)

2010-03-20T15:36:00.016+01:00

Home Alone is one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen. It's directed by Chris Columbus, written by John Hughes(Ferris Bueller's Day Off) and stars Macaulay Culkin as an 8 year old kid left at home alone. There's alot of mixed views on this one, and you'll either love it or hate it. I can't believe that someone could actually hate a film like this.

Kevin McCallister(Culkin) is left behind accidentally as his parents and 8 other siblings fly out to Paris for a holiday. He hasn't been getting on with his family recently, and is over the moon about being left alone for once in his life. Two bumbling burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern pay a visit to the neighbourhood, aware that there'll be a few empty houses over the festive period. Kevin decides to take a stand and defend his house at all costs. Why didn't he just ring the police you say? Who'd really like to see that film?

Ok, now for some of the arguments against the film. "The film is contrived in every detail". What films aren't contrived? Films are inherently unnatural due to the fact that.........they're not real!!! So the tarantula is conveniently placed on the stairs in front of Kevin when Daniel Stern is pulling at his leg. So all the realist boring people out there are saying "That would never happen!!!! How convenient!!! So contrived!! OOooohh I hate it so much!" Come on.

Another one: "The film is incredibly violent". An iron hits Daniel Stern on the head "Oh my God!!! It's just too horrific for my eyes!!" Wait a minute, Wile E. Coyote gets flattened with a giant boulder in nearly every episode. "Why wasn't that show pulled from kids television, it's so violent!" Why not? Because this world would be an incredibly boring place if these people were in charge.

"Macaulay Culkin's acting was unnatural" another person said. He was like 10 years old!!!!! I can't believe that someone would take a person of that age's acting so seriously.

The reason that I haven't concentrated on the actual film, and rather on the reactions to it, were most of the reviews posted by super highly, intellectual people who look for the bad in everything while trying to impress people with negativity. Rather than just giving an honest opinion on something, they have to intellectualize it to death. And now I'm just extremely bitter because of it!!! Approved Tomatometer critics at Rottentomatoes gave the film an aggregate score of 47%!!! Read some of the reviews. They're hilarious.

The reasons why I loved the film? The film is honest with itself. It knows that it's being sentimental, and it's aware that it looks contrived and says to hell with it!!!! Let's just believe in it as long as the film lasts. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are magnificent. The theme of everyone being against Kevin, and Kevin taking on "the world"(well I think that's how he sees it) is brilliantly done. The slapstick comedy is hilarious!! The tarantula on Daniel Stern's face is one of the funniest scenes I have seen in my entire life!! Daniel Stern's performance was the icing on the cake to this already brilliant film. The tone of it all is just fantastic. It just seems very optimistic, an innocent blah blah blah. It really is just a great, great film.

Absolute Brilliance!

Jerry Maguire (1996)

2010-03-20T01:24:00.004+01:00

Jerry Maguire is directed by Cameron Crowe, and has a stellar cast consisting of Tom Cruise, Renée Zellweger, Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Jonathan Lipnicki. This is a great movie with a few moral lessons thrown into the mix without being all preachy about it.

Tom Cruise plays Jerry Maguire, a hot shot sports agent who one day developes a conscience. He's tired of being just another "shark in a suit" and he wants to feel the way he did when he first started out in the business. So he writes a new mission statement for his company: "The Things We Think and Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business". It's his brutally honest thoughts on the state of the agent trade. So everyone's so impressed with his memo, but a week after writing it he's fired by Bob Sugar (Jay Mohr), a man who's career he helped build. Adding to the insult of it all, Bob Sugar steals most of Jerry's players except for football superstar Frank Cushman, and the lesser known, trash talking Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding, Jr). Jerry starts his own agent business with the help of Dorothy Boyd (Renée Zellweger), and a bit of romance developes. Jerry must fight to keep his career alive, and keep his players from abandoning him.

This movie starts off where most movies end. It explores the aftermath of making the breakthrough of deciding to stay true to oneself, and being honest and all that saintly, heavenly stuff. It's saying that it's not a walk in the park once you decide to do it. People take advantage of honest Jerry. So Jerry must learn how to play the game, while still trying to be "Jerry". What happens is that there isn't a complete transition from slimey, money worshipping Jerry to upstanding, do the right thing all the time Jerry. He becomes a slightly better person, but he's still a money hungry agent. He's just trying to be very successful on his own terms.

The casting is excellent. Cuba Gooding, Jr. is brilliant as the loudmouthed, cocky Rod Tidwell, and his award for best supporting actor was well deserved. Renée Zellweger has her usual charm. Tom Cruise was an excellent choice. He normally plays that asshole that gets everything that he wants, but here he's at his best where he's that asshole who has come to the realisation that he's an utter moron, and decides to change. All in all, I'd give it a 8/10.

The Man with Two Brains (1983)

2010-03-14T22:42:00.005+01:00

The Man with Two Brains is directed by Carl Reiner and stars Steve Martin and Kathleen Turner. It's a spoof of mad scientist movies. If you're not a fan of those types of movies some of the jokes will fly over your head, but there's still enough non- referenced humour to laugh at.

Steve Martin plays Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, a mad scientist that has developed a new type of brain surgury. He screws off the tops of his patients heads to make things easy peasy japaneasy while he works his magic on thier brains. Kathleen Turner plays a gold digging biatch from hell, Dolores Benedict. Hfuhruhurr knocks her down with his Mercedes, and has to perform brain surgory on the lovely Dolores. The operation is successful and the two fall in love and get married, and everything is hunky dory, ....or so it seems. Dum, dum,duuuum. Dolores is only after his money, Hfuhruhurr falls in love with a brain in a jar, and somewhere thrown into the mix is an elavator serial killer who injects people with window cleaner. Will we find out who the serial killer is? Will Hfuhruhurr and Dolores's relationship last? Will Hfuhruhurr's love affair with the brain in the jar be found out? Dum, Dum, Duuuum.

It's actually really, really funny for the first hour or so. Then the laughter peters out but it's still interesting enough to watch. This is the funniest I've ever seen Steve Martin. Kathleen Turner is savagely sexy, and spoofs her sultry image of that time quite well. It's just very enjoyable and there's nothing to really hate about it. I'd give it a 7/10.

Kingpin (1996)

2010-03-11T01:50:00.004+01:00

Kingpin was directed by the Farrelly brothers, and stars Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Vanessa Angel, and Bill Murray. It's hilarious at times, and at other times the jokes just bomb. Maybe the intention was that they knew that some of the jokes would be so bad that they'd turn out funny in a camp sort of way, while really the fact is that some were just terrible. But, as I said, there were some really funny moments as well.

Woody stars as Rory Munson. As a kid, he's taught the ins and outs of bowling by his dad. Rory developes amazing bowling skillzzzz. When he's around 19 he plans to go on the Proffesional Bowlers Tour, after winning the 1979 Iowa state amateur championship. He wins his first tournament on tour by beating Ernie McCracken (Bill Murray). Soonafter, he teams up with McCracken as they try thier luck at bowler hustling. After beating a redneck priest, they are found out and McCracken ditches Rory. The rednecks stick Rory's hand into a ball retrieval mechanism, and he looses his hand. Cut to 17 years later, and Rory is an alcoholic with a comb over, and a hook for a hand. He makes up for unpaid rent by having sex with his disgusting landlady. He comes across amish Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid) bowling with a 270 average. (I don't bowl but I'm guessing that's good). Rory convinces Ishmael to go along with him to a $1,000,000 winner-take-all tournament in Reno, Nevada. Along the way they pick up the super sexy Claudia (Vanessa Angel). Ishmael must win to save his amish land, and there's a bit of a love story that developes between Rory and Claudia.

As I said, at times it can be hilarious(Claudia to Rory,refering to his hook hand "Must be hard when you're spanking your monkey". Ishmael to Rory "You've got a monkey?"), and at other times the reliance on the disgusting jokes are nothing but disgusting and far from funny. There's homages to films like "the Hustler" which I found quite interesting, having LOVED The Hustler. Bill Murray is quite good as the arrogant, slimey, cocky, king of all assholes Ernie McCracken. As others have commented, more Ernie would have done the film alot of good. The film also feels very disjointed at times. Characters dissapear for ages then return and you're like "where the hell was he for the last half hour??"

Overall, this is a movie with a few decent strikes, but a lotta gutterballs.(hahaha............)

The Oscars 2010

2010-03-08T15:10:00.003+01:00

I've got to admit that I never really watch the Oscars. I mean I've seen bits and bobs here and there but I've never really sat down to watch an entire show. Well I did now and here are my thoughts on the whole affair: Entertaining enough. Better than I expected. You've got to take the good with the bad.

The Red Carpet
Well I watched E! for all the red carpet stuff, and Ryan Seacrest is a bit of a twit, but I got over that. Some of the jibber jabber is quite entertaining once you start to take an objective look and just observe the craziness as it's presented in front of you. Giuliana Rancic and the gay guy(can't find his name anywhere) commentary is hilarious, and not because they're funny themselves. When they spot an actress it's "Ok, Ok freeze the frame right there. Loooovin her, looovin this right here, all this bit here, the way it starts off small and then goes around the back....loooovin it" and they can both start to disagree, before sussing each other out and finally coming to the same conclusion. Normally "she's loookin stuuuuning!" while really it's far from the truth. Keepin it real alright.

The Show
George Clooney looked a bit drunk, and there's a debate going on whether he was in on the act when Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were taking shots at him. I myself think he was in on the act. And if not, who gives a crap.

The Presenters
Steve and Alec as mentioned above were really entertaining in a "we can't present!! what are we doing here???" sort of way. Some of the jokes bombed, but you'd still had to laugh.

The Interpretive Dancers
Who the hell are these guys???!! Sure they're good at what they do, but what's it all about really?? If you just stopped for a second and said to yourself "what the hell is really going on??" without getting caught up in it all, you'd see it's just a bunch of people jumpin around doin their own cool little moves. There were moments when there was synchronicity(hope that's a word) but the rest of the time it was just absolute madness.

The Awards
Well The Hurt Locker cleaned up, and to be honest I was quite surprised. I mean I loved The Hurt Locker, but Avatar did shockingly bad. It got best make up(whatever the award is for that), best special effects(no brainer) and Best Cinematography. Hurt Locker, after taking everything at the Baftas, continued the form with best director, best picture, two awards for sound, best editing, and best original screenplay. Nothin for Tarantino! Where's the justice?? Well I.B was never gonna win much, but I'd have liked to have seen a bit more appreciation for it. Christoph Waltz did win for Best Supporting actor though. And he deserved it.

Overall, not a bad night's entertainment.

Ben-Hur (1959)

2010-03-07T20:49:00.005+01:00

Ben-Hur(1959) is an epic film directed by William Wyler starring Charlton Heston, and it's 3 hours thirty two minutes long. It's incredibly long, but somehow it's not quite the bore that I thought it might turn out to be. The thing that really stands out in this film is not the performances, and certainly not the dialogue, but there are some great action scenes and incredible set designs.

Charlton Heston plays a well off merchant Jew, Judah Ben-Hur. His childhood friend Messala(Stephen Boyd), originally a jew, has returned as a Roman Tribune(one of the higher ups in the army). They're all buddy buddy happy to see eachother once again, but things soon turn sour when Messala asks Judah to basically become an informant, and turn in some of the Jews who are rebeling against the Roman occupation of thier land. Judah refuses and Messala is very angry about this, boo hoo, and they both go thier separate ways. When a Roman Governer visits the town, Judah's sister accidently knocks over a loose tile from the roof, and it falls hitting the Governer and killing him. Messala arrests Judah, even though he knows it was an accident, and sends him to the galleys. Judah's mother and sister are also arrested for no reason and are sent down into the dungeons. Judah vows to return and take revenge on Messala and reunite with his family. Revenge! Hell Yeah!

The chariot race is obviously the best part about this film. It's simply fantastico. I don't need to go on about this. Most people know that there is an awesome chariot race that everyone needs to see once before they die. But it really is that good. The one thing that annoyed me about this film is the religion aspect of it. Spoiler! Judah basically gets kicked in the nuts at every turn he makes, and it's cool to see him rise up and take revenge against Messala. But just when he's about take on Rome(now that would have been cool to see), since Rome the empire is basically THE enemy throughout(it turned his old Jewish pal into an almighty prick), religion creeps into the movie and saves the day! Basically magic happens. Hocus pocus. Judah's family, who bacame lepers in the dungeons, are totally cured because they see Jesus being crucified! What the hell is that about?? So the message is that no matter what happens, believe in Jesus or something, and one day if you're a leper some sort of wizardry might happen and totally cure you???? I could go on about it but you really have to see it for yourself to make your own mind up about it. That part made no sense to me.

Anyway, overall this was not such a chore to watch, given the length of time and all. Charlton sucks as a hero(I think that he'd have suited the villain role much better, he's just that sort of asshole), but the action scenes and some of the revenge themes makes this somewhat enjoyable to watch.

Righteous Kill (2008)

2010-03-05T04:13:00.001+01:00

Righteous Kill is a film directed by Jon Avnet, starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, and is seriously one big waste of time. It tries so hard, tries it's best to fit in with the cool kids of crime thrillers, but really there is no point to the film at all.

Two New York police detectives, Turk(De Niro) and his partner Rooster(Pacino), have worked as a team for years. They've grown tired of seeing criminals walk free because of lack of evidence and other such things. We get a sense that Turk especially is goin nuts. We are constantly interupted throughout the film with footage of Turk confessing to a number of killings. And when we join the pair throughout the working day, they come across murders that appear to be have been commited by a cop. Ok so we get the "subtle" hint that it's Turk. It's up to a rival duo of detectives who are suspicious of Turk to bring him down.

While the whole idea has potential to be interesting, the script, directing and editing of this film flushes that potential down the crapper. The ending is just so obvious it's beyond rediculous. Towards the end you get a sense that Pacino and De Niro are just having a laugh. They simply couldn't pull this one off by acting alone. This movie is an absolute waste of time.

Top Gun (1986)

2010-03-02T00:22:00.006+01:00

Top Gun. Where to begin? Directed by Tony Scott. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Starring the white toothed wonder kid Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Kelly McGillis, Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins(never spotted him at all!), and Anthoney Edwards. Well it's all laughs from beginning to end. It's one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen due it's pure comedic value. You'd think that they were acually trying to parody the types of characters we see in this film.

I mean did people really think that Maverick was cool back then? I can understand kids liking a movie like this "Wow, planes! Jet-fighter jackets! Awesome!". But adults? Who were the ones forking out $353 million in theatres around the world in 1986, catapulting Tom "You're a Jerk! You're a jerk!" Cruise to stardom? Who's resposible for this!!?? I'd like to know! Questions need to be answered. People need to reflect, and take accountability. This is a very serious matter. Young kids were led to believe that this kind of behaviour was the way to go. "Ok kids, to be cool, to get the chicks, you need to learn cool technospeak, and you need a call-sign like 'Maverick' or 'Iceman', just something thats really super awesome sounding".

The plot is, and I really can't believe that somebody could write a script like this, is: Tom Cruise plays Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, one arrogant, cocky, sonofabitch jet fighter pilot. Him and his pal "Goose" are sent to a Jet Fighter school, where only the elite can attend and they're all in competition with eachother to win the prize of "Top Gun". And they're all really serious about it. It's hilarious. Maverick and Goose's biggest rivals to the Top Gun throne are Iceman(Val Kilmer) and Slider. There's plenty of macho "we're better than you"...."No you're not!" banter going on. Maverick meets a girl in the bar and acts like a jackass....IT GETS COMPLICATED!.......she's the Top Gun flight instructor! OH NO! And the rest of this stupid story just plays itself out with the odd scene of the pilots playing volyball with no shirts and only jeans on and Tom Cruise riding his super cool motorbike really fast whenever he reflects over his stupid life. It's just really, really funny to see people taking themselves so seriously. That's what makes this film so great to watch.

People who are fans of movies like "Fast and Furious" and such will love this film. It's all about going really fast, being the best, and lookin cool while doing it. People who strike poses, suck their stomachs in and lean against objects in a masculine sort of way. I really don't get it. But it's great fun to watch these people.

Notorious (2009)

2010-03-01T16:04:00.005+01:00

I have to admit that I actually liked this movie. I fell for it. I could somehow relate to Biggie Smalls and the world that he lived in. He's a guy who has his problems, he wants to turn his situation around, he wants a better life for himself and his mom, move out of the streets, and live life on his own terms. It was great to see him get out of prison and make the choice to use his god given talents of amazing rap skillz(with a z, oh ya like the cool people do it) to make things happen for himself. I really liked the character of the man at the start. Sure he whored himself around the place, dealt drugs, carried a piece but who are we to judge? Who here hasn't dabbled in such business??? Anyone? Anyone?

You all know about Biggie Smalls. The rap dude who had a feud with Tupac Shakur. East side "you guys in the west suck at rap!" versus west "no way you suck!". Well Piff Paff Waddy Daddy "Sean Combes" produced this film along with Biggie Smalls' mother. I DIDNT KNOW THIS AT BEFORE WATCHING THIS FILM. I actually fell for the sensationalism of it all. I thought "hey, Puff is a really cool guy", the way he basically nearly single handedly elevated Biggie Smalls to stardom. "And Biggie's mom, well she is just a heavenly saint. And as for Biggie, well he has his problems but he's just really a big ol' loveable teddybear. Then I listened to one of his songs on YouTube. Honest to God I heard him say something about wacking a kid across their face on communion day. WACK! What a great guy. But then there's the argument "well geez get over it just a song!" Ya but it's stil kindof an odd thing to rap about isn't it?

So basically this film is totally biased. Tupac is portrayed as a raging lunatic who starts the feud. Biggie is the gooddie, Tupac is the baddie, and the record is set straight once and for all! Thanks Puff for sorting that one out!

Wayne's World (1992)

2010-02-26T03:12:00.010+01:00

Eh, this film was ok. There were bits which I liked, and there's bits where I roled my eyes up to the ceiling like "god that's friggin stupid" but I still came away with the feeling that this film was quite unique. But then I've read in reviews that this film is basically a remake of Bill and Ted's Excellently Awesome Adventure. So there goes my theory on it's uniqueness. I still liked it anyhow for the most part. But some scenes were just so so stupid that I was looking for some hidden joke to it all where there was nothing.

There's alot of stupidity in this film. You know how The Simpsons are basically flogging a dead horse playing off of Homer's stupidity the whole time? That's how I feel about most of the humour in this movie. I kept waiting for a joke with a clever angle, but no it was just "these guys are stupid, stupid is funny, we'll settle with that". There's a scene where Wayne(Mike Myers) and Garth(Dana Carvey) bump into the local police officer. Wayne goes "Hey, what's that bacon I smell? He he. Someone cooking some pork hehehe" and the policeman goes "Oh I get it, it's coz I'm a policeman is it?". Why would they make the policeman say such a stupid line??? I thought that he might have followed it on with something but that was it. They pointed out the obvious and left it at that! I know I sound now like I HATE the movie but the jokes were really not that good.

What I DID LIKE about it was the idea of the story. Two "slacker" dudes run a cable access television show out of Wayne's parent's basement. That has funniness written all over it. There's alot that could be done with that. Think of Del Boy in "Only Fools And Horses". Del Boy tries to be so "cool" and really sophisticated but he's so stupid that he can never get anything right despite him trying his bestest. The thing is that Wayne and Garth think that their being stupid is funny, and most of the time it's not it's just really stupid. Whereas Del Boy is funny because he tries so hard not to be stupid while everyone around him is laughin their ass off at him. I'd have liked Wayne and Garth to be really serious about their cable show.

Other things which I LIKED(I did like some of this film!) were the pop culture references. Spoiler. You have the T1000(Robert Patrick) from Terminator 2 show up looking for John Connor, scaring the pants off of Wayne. There's spoofs of Laverne and Shirley(which I've never seen but liked the idea of the spoof afterwards) and Scooby Doo. Meat Loaf and Alice Cooper make appearances. There's a great scene, which many may be aware of, of the "dudes" headbanging in the car along to Bohemian Rhapsody. Alot of phrases were started in this movie like "that's what she said","Shwing!" and (every review that I've read has incorporated this in some clever, original way)..."NOT!" Haha hilarious. Not so funny now but back then, before people had started using those sayings in every joke, I imagine they might have been quite funny.

So there it is. I liked the IDEA! of the story and the many pop references but the humour in it, FOR ME, was terrible. They were "Haha that's so funny....(while you look around to see if anyone else is laughing)" jokes that really weren't that good. I'd say overall...Eh, ok.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

2010-02-22T23:40:00.009+01:00

I really liked this movie. I've read alot of reviews where people were were unhappy with the length of the film, with the pacing, and the fact that the actors seemed to take forever to spit their lines out. I know how they feel in this situation, having being bored to death recently watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", but I've got to say that I was glued to the screen from start to finish with this movie. I love character studies for some reason. And alot of people might argue the fact that this might not be the greatest character study ever made, but these types of films generally draw me in quite easily.

The plot: Robert Ford(Casey Affleck) at age twenty is a keen admirer of the legendary outlaw Jesse James(Brad Pitt). He's practically in love with guy, you get the feeling that he wants to BE Jesse James. Most people have heroes, but this guy is obsessed. He wants to join the James gang in their latest escapade: a train robbery. Frank and Jesse run the gang of low level criminals looking to make an easy buck. Frank thinks Bob hasn't "the ingredients" to make it in the gang, but Jesse is flattered into taking in Bob. After the robbery, Jesse let's Bob stick around for his own amusement, and tells his other associates to leave. After a few days, Bob's obssesiveness creeps Jesse out, and Jesse tells him to leave. From here on out, Bob Ford starts to see his hero in a different light. On a few occasions when they cross paths again, Jesse taunts and embarrasses Bob. Bob developes a sort of love/hate relationship with Jesse. Meanwhile Jesse's former associates are planning on turning in him to collect a bounty. Jesse, the clever guy that he is, senses that his "pals" might be plotting against him. He surrounds himself with stupid people, guys that are too cowardly to "do something", namely Bob. We see Jesse struggling with depression and paranoia for the remainder of the film. He feels trapped, like he knows what's coming and it's just a matter of time before it happens. Being the smart guy that he is, he decides to groom Bob as his murderer. Suicide by another person's hand. He'll be remembered as a legend, Bob will fill the role as Judas. The title of the movie could nearly be called "The assassination of Robert Ford, by the Legendary Jesse James".

Brad Pitt is very convincing as Jesse James. For the most part, we listen into his posse's conversations. They're afraid, they're always plotting their next move behind his back, and it's great when we see Jesse confront them. He sits in the room and just observes them, while they fidget around, mumble their words, make up stories. Jesse sees straight through them all. Jesse James knows people. Like any great leader, his strength lies in knowing how people work. The dishonesty of their actions are as clear as day to him. And for the most part he plays along with their bullshitting, but quietly ticking away in the back of his mind, he's scheming, plotting and evaluating the situation. Then we have Jesse's fall into depression and it is well acted by Pitt.

It's not what you might expect out of a film made about Jesse James. Just one solitary train robbery. No great shootouts. And the point of the film really is Robert Ford's unnatural obssession with Jesse James. At one point Jesse says it out plainly "Do you want to be like me.....or do you want to BE me?" It's a film about the role of heroes, and about relying on them too heavily and not relying on yourself. The honest man in the movie is Jesse James, even though he plays along with the falseness sometimes. Every other person that he's around wears a mask. But Jesse sees through it all. The only exception to this is Robert Ford. But he's only honest because he's stupid. He hasn't the ability to put on an act. And his stupidity is his downfall.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

2010-02-20T00:21:00.010+01:00

This film is exceptional. The animation? No CGI back then, and I couldn't care less. There's more feeling about the animation in my opinion when I can see that it has been drawn frame by frame by an artist. Some of the kids programs that I see these days are downright terrible. "Computers suck, damn new age technology, these futuristic demon machines will spell dooooooom for us allllllllll......". Alright I don't hate computer animation THAT much. When it's done right it's pretty darn good. But I miss seeing the old style cartoons: popeye the sailor man, donald duck, daffy and the rest. I'll say it right here, right now: I DON'T LIKE THE NEW COMPUTER GENERATED WINNIE THE POOH AND MICKEY MOUSE CLUB!!" There I said it. You heard me. But seriously there's no FEELING to it. Maybe I'm just way too nostalgic. Move on Jimbob. Gee wiz like.

But back to Roger. This film has feeeeling. It's fantasic. Animation, film noir, one of the most terrifying villains ever captured on film (he scared the pants off me!!), a great plot, terrific acting (taking into account that this was new at the time) all rolled into one helluva masterpiece of work. It's just fun to watch. Great entertainment. I'm sorry that I at one period of my life strayed away from these types of films alltogether. Thought provoking, intellectual films were the order of the day: A Clockwork Orange, Citizen Kane, 2001, Barry Lyndon (Ya mostly Kubrick!) blah fuckin blah all lacking in one vital ingrediant: Entertainment. They're great and all in certain abstract ways, but Who Framed Roger Rabbit is what I love about cinema: The ability to watch something and walk away feeling good about youself, and not go lookin for that nearest bridge to jump off. Am now I'm too tired to explain the plot so I'll just say watch this movie, it's friggin awesome.

Three Kings (1999)

2010-02-18T18:45:00.005+01:00

Three Kings is directed by David O. Russel and stars Mark Wahlberg, George Clooney, Ice Cube and Spike Jonze. It's a film which explores the topic of America's involvement in the Persian Gulf War, for a few brief moments that is. The rest of the film contains elements of the Western Genre, slap stick comedy, and full on action. Throw in a few pop culture references for good measure.

The plot: It's the day after the Gulf War ceasefire, soldiers are celebrating with bubbly. During the day, the Iraqi soldiers are surrendering themselves over to the Americans. Army Reserve Sergeant First Class Troy Barlow (Wahlberg) finds a map showing bunkers, and instead of showing it to his superiors, he shows it to his freinds Private First Class Conrad Vig (Jonze) and Staff Sergeant Chief Elgin (Cube). Major Archie Gates (Clooney) finds out about the map, and decides to join the party. He believes that the bunkers hold Kuwaiti gold which was stolen by Saddam. Under the ceasefire, the gold is to be returned to Kuwait. The four soldiers plan on taking the gold for themselves. Under the ceasefire, the Iraqi soldiers will have no problem handing over the gold. But while this happens, the four soldiers witness cruelty and murder at the hands of the Iraqi soldiers towards Iraqi Shia rebels who have risen against Saddam's regime but were abandoned by the Coalition. The soldiers who had planned on taking the gold and running, are forced with a moral dilema.

I liked the brief commentaries in this film about the nature of America's involvement in the Gulf War. Bush asks the ordinary citizens of Iraq to stand up and fight Saddam, he promises that the army will be stand by them. They stand up to the tyranny, turns out the American army has turned it's back on them, now the rebels are being slaughtered. Not surprising. There's also a more realistic approach to portraying the soldiers. They're not exacly good, honest men. Some are looking for a quick profit, stealing gold bullion.

Overall, I liked this film alot. There's alot of great humour in it. It's not all preachy about morals and what not, but it does make you stop and think as well. Some good, and not so good performances. Great cinematography, well unique. Overall, very enjoyable.

The Shining (1980)

2010-02-17T15:58:00.009+01:00

The Shining was directed by Stanley Kubrick, and is creepy beyond description. It's not your typical horror movie, with moments that make you jump out of your seat. Instead you witness "evil in daylight, through a wide-angle lens", as Pauline Kael puts it. And that sounds spot on to me. There's no actual darkness in this movie, the scenes are well lit. The darkness is in Jack Torrance's mind, which in turn is put into the audiences mind.

The plot: Jack Torrance applies for a job as caretaker of the Overlook Hotel. The hotel is in an isolated part of the country where the severe weather conditions make it unfeasable to run during winter as the roads are blocked for several months. Jack is a writer, and sees this as an ideal opportunity to work on his novel in peace and quiet. At the interview, Jack is informed that the previous caretaker,Delbert Grady, got cabin fever, and killed his wife and two daughters. Jack, however, is not put off by this. He brings his wife Wendy(Shelley Duvall) and son Danny(Danny Lloyd) along with him. During their stay at the hotel Jack goes mad, and Danny sees visions of the terrifying events that have taken place in the hotel. Danny has Extrasensory perception. He can see past and future events, as well as talk to people directly into their mind with thought, known as "shining". Madness follows.

The best thing about this movie is Kubrick's direction. His films are generally great to look at, he being a photography enthusiast and all. The cinematography is superb. You also get the feeling that this is not a horror film, but a Kubrick film. What HE finds most frightening, is what see in this film. As Stephen King commented, Kubrick missed at great opportunity at a "jump out of your seat moment" when Jack discovers Wendy going through his written work. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" is written out line after line, page after page. Instead of that "out of you seat" shock, Kubrick allows Jack to enter the frame before the payoff of Wendy being frightened out of her senses. The horror is in the awareness of evil. It never jumps out at you. Evil hangs around for the entire scene.

Jack Nicholson in my opinion may have gone overboard with his acting. Alot of people have commented on the fact that at the start of the movie, you had the feeling that his character was very near the edge to begin with. I'd have liked to have seen him tone down the craziness at the start. And some of his weird behaviour later on seemed a bit too obviously "acted". I didn't "believe" some of it. But there are scenes however which I think that he is great in.

The scariest thing about this movie in my opinion is Shelley Duvall who plays Wendy. I don't know about anyone else but I would HATE to be stuck in an isolated hotel with her. Wendy is downright creepy. Overall this film is fantastic. To me, it's pure horror. What really frightens me, is exactly what I see in this film. The thought of the two little girls standing at the end of a hallway saying to Danny "Come and play with us, forever and ever" scares the absolute shit out of me. This is a must see film. By the way, I liked the shorter version better. The added scenes in the longer version were ok, but nothin special.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

2010-02-14T16:29:00.004+01:00

This was ok. I realise that it's become a cult phenomenon but nothing about it really got my interest besides Susan Sarandon, and a few catchy songs. Alot of the time I had difficulty following exactly what was going on. I know it's not the most complex plot in the world, anything but, but alot of the plot was told through the songs, and they were hard to follow. I found it hard to figure out what the point was besides singing songs and flashing cleavage. Then again maybe that's all there really is to it.

The humour, eh. Ok. There were a few laugh out loud moments. The plot: a newly engaged couple are stranded in the middle of nowhere after a blowout, they walk to a dodgy looking castle which they had just passed on the road, they're looking for a phone, they enter the castle, they meet a bunch of crazy people, songs are sung, sex happens, the gay master of the castle Dr. Frank N. Furter creates his "Frankenstein monster" called Rocky Horror as his sex toy, Meat Loaf is in it, and that's about it. Generally just a mish mash of all these elements and you've got some sort of cult phenomenon.

I don't get it to be honest. Apparently it's a great movie for lots of people to watch all at once after a drunken night out. I didn't HATE it at the same time though. The songs are really catchy. "Lets doooo the tiiiiime waaaaarp agaaaaaain!" I liked that one. I'll say it's average, and if I were watching this with lots of people while drunk I might think it's great, because when you're drunk generally everything is either "the best thing in the world!!!!" or "I hate that F*&n movie!!!" and have a big rant about it. And I didn't hate it so I'll call it "the greatest thing everrrrrrr!" just so long as you're drunk at the time.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

2010-02-14T12:48:00.009+01:00

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975) stars Jack Nicholson and is directed by Milos Forman. It is an adaption of a novel of the same name written by Ken Kesey. The film won all five of the major Academy Awards, and did surprisingly well at the box office, being one of the highest grossing films of all time, at the time. Now enough of this mindless rambling, and let me explain to you why I think this film is great.

Jack Nicholson plays the part of R.P McMurphy. The kind of guy that everyone knows. He's that testosterone fuelled guy who's a victim of his own high spirits. He means well, but there's an awareness when you're around him that anything can happen, that a sense of danger follows him around. You could say the wrong thing and ignite his temper, but other than that he tries his best to keep a lid on it and get along with people. R.P McMurphy has been sent to a mental instituion from prison so that they can observe him for an amount of time to see whether he really is a crackpot or not. At a meeting with one of the higher ups of the mental instituion asks him why they think they sent him here. He says "Well as far as I can tell it's because I fight and fuck too much". You know the type of guy he is.

In the mental asylum he meets the other patients. They're what you'd expect people to be like who are in mental institutions. I don't need to explain. There doesn't seem to be any life in this place. McMurphy comes in and shakes the place up. Tries to lift the spirits of the other patients for his and their own sake. What he's up against is a cold hearted, bitch of a woman: Nurse Ratched. She runs the shop. Your typical person in authority, she likes being in control for her own sake, and not for the sake of the patients and she enjoys it all. A sadist.

McMurphy asks her to put on the World Series instead of the usual routine they have at that time of day. She replies with the answer that most of the patients would be upset at the change, but puts it to a vote knowing that she'll win. She's right she does win. But when a second chance the next day comes for a chance to vote, McMurphy gets everyone at the group therapy session to vote. Superbitch replies "Thats only nine votes, there's 18 people on this ward. It's 9 to 9 you don't have a majority. She ends the session and McMurphy is obviously outraged that she included catatonic people who can't hear a thing in the vote. What McMurphy does next is masterclass. Not gonna be out done by Nurse Ratched he goes over to the TV and does commentary on the ball game, with nothing on the screen. The other patients join him like they're really at the ball game. Nurse Ratched looses her cool.

Films that were anti authoritorian were popular around the time that this film was made. "Cool Hand Luke" is one that comes to mind first. Standing up to the man. Rebelling against the system. This film is all about rebellion. McMurphy is a hero to the patients. He stands up to Nurse Ratched. He'll either live as a free man or go out fighting. But the people that run the place have ways and means of controlling thier patients. There's a labotomy scene that really gives you an idea of the horrific types of things that went on in these instituions for an amount of time in America. If you want an idea check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0aNILW6ILk to see for yourself. Be warned it's quite graphic. This film is a must see, and one of the few films that I'd call great.

East of Eden (1955)

2010-02-13T15:47:00.005+01:00

East of Eden is a film directed by Elia Kazan in 1955, loosely based on the novel of the same name which was released in 1952 by John Steinbeck. It stars James Dean in his first significant role, and he really is the star of the show. Unfortunately he died in September of 1955.

Apperantly, Dean himself was a dislikable character. Marlon Brando was considered before Dean, when screenwriter Paul Osborn found James acting on Broadway. Kazan was unimpressed with Dean as an actor, but later admitted that he thought Dean was perfect for the role, that Cal, the character in the movie, and James Dean shared similar emotional traits. Now that's prudence for you. The kid's an asshole, he's hard to get along with, his acting methods are amateurish. However he's great for the part, he IS the part, he IS that character, he GETS the part.

The plot: Two sons, Cal (James Dean) and Aron (Richard Davalos) live with there father Adam Trask (Raymond Massey) on a ranch near the central California coastal town of Selinas. Their mother apparently had left when they were born. Cal finds out thay his mother is alive and runs a successful brothel close by. He goes to see her and discovers that he shares most of his traits with her. His mother asks about his brother Aron, Cal tells her "Oh he's good, not like you", she howls with laughter. Cal is a wild person. He's constantly likened to an animal. He's an outsider. He longs for his father's affections but never gets any. Aron on the other hand is the insider, he's loved and prased by his father but he loves his brother Cal, whereas Cal only holds resentment for Aron. Adam Trask looses most of his fortune in a failed refrigeration business. His aim was not to make a profit, but find a way to preserve vegetables and do some good for the human race. What a good guy. Cal tries to start a business which would profit from World War 1 breaking out. His plan was to give his father back the money that the ice business lost. His father rejects the money as it's war profiteering. As a result, Cal looses the plot and all hell breaks loose within the family.

I liked this movie. It's got many lessons and what not, for young troubled men trying to find thier place in the world. Ya it's soppy stuff, but I'll go deeper into it. All Cal is lookin for is love. He doesn't feel loved and that turns him into a cruel and nasty person. His father is this highly moralled man with principles, but he sticks to his "right principles" so much so that he himself is emotionless. The father does what is right by the book, but doesn't follow his own conscience in a way which leaves Cal frustrated. Cal is the most honest minded person in the movie. He doesn't believe what he hears from his father about his mother dying and he goes out to find her. Cal is just trying to get a sense of himself, of where he comes from, and why he is the way he is.

I'll say that this is a good movie, but not great. The ending could have been alot better for the way it was set-up. It seemed a bit twisted to me in the end. Like things shouldn't have turnes out the way they did. I'm not asking for a happy ending, but I think they could've done better. That might have gone against the book though which I haven't read so can't comment on. It was a great debut however by James Dean.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

2010-02-13T13:16:00.008+01:00

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is directed by David Fincher, and has got to be one of the most boring films that I have seen in a long time. It is SOOOO incredibly long, nearly 3 hours! Fine i'll watch your 3 hour long film, but please make it entertaining, or some bit interesting. Please don't try to tug at my heart strings for 3 hours! The thing is to that it tries too hard. I got the feeling watching it that it was trying to be a Forrest Gump sort of a movie. Then I discovered afterwards that the guy who wrote this piece of crap movie, Eric Roth, is the SAME Eric Wroth who wrote.........FOREST GUMP! Why BLATENTLY copy a previously successful formula and try to reacreate it thinking that nobody would mind. I do. Don't know about anyone else.

Now David Fincher is a great director. His lighting in his films for example is simply amazing. One of my favourite films of all time has got to be Fight Club, and Se7en is pretty high up the list as well. I just can't recognise the David Fincher of Fight Club and Se7en, from the David Fincher that made Benjamin "boring as hell" Button. Doesn't he know it in his bones that this is one god awful film? Even while he was making it? Didn't he get that feeling like, "Jesus this is really boring!" I would have packed up the film right there and then and walked off the set.

The plot (as simply as I can put it, I don't want to think about this movie too much): Benjamin Button is born, he looks about 90 years old, he's abandoned, he's adopted, he grows up different to the other kids blah blah, when he's old enough he leaves home to work on a trawler, sees the world, meets "interesting" characters, goes home to meet his childhood sweetheart, blah blah blah and there you have it folks: Forrest Gump......I mean Benjamin Button. My god this film sucks.

Another gripe I had with this film. And this is just for the sake of ranting: No one in the film pays much attention to the fact that.........THIS KID IS ABOUT 90 YEARS OLD! No one says "Wait a minute, something's fishy here......this kid is an old man!" They sort of acknowledge it but they just pass it off and say dumbass things like "Well he's just special...." or "Hey Benjamin, you look a bit different than you did a few years back. Oh well must be all that drink made my mind all wonky ha ha ha". God almighty, there's a scene where Daisy (Benjamin's child hood sweetheart) tries to make the argument that they can have a child and live happily ever after. Benjamin says "well, how would I look after him when I'm like 7 years old?", and she says something stupid like "the child will just love you for who you are" and "well why can't a blind man have a child?"

Another thing. When I think back over the movie I'm reminded of 2 thing: old people, and two incredilbly hot people having sex. Daisy is in her deathbed and asks her daughter to read Benjamins diary and that's how the story gets told. Something like Titanic, the old lady "thiiiis iis hooow it allll happpennneddd, IIIII'lll telll youuuu" cept It's the daughter reading a diary. Mind blowingly original. Every so often we leave the story and return to the present day and we gotta listen to this old lady again saying "reaaaaad thhhhhee booooook, reaad thhe boooook.....". AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SUDDENLY!!!!!!! Benjamin "grows" young, he meets his childhood sweetheart, they're both around the same age AND..........we get to see them having sex in incredibly exotic places!! On a yacht out in the ocean, on a beach, in thier apartment by the ocean. It just doesn't fit, and not in the charming way.

The lighting is great, ya so what this film SUCKS, it SUCKS. It tries to be thought provoking, an emotional rollercoaster, it's not. I don't even know what the point of the story was. What was it trying to say? What? I don't know! I don't care. Don't watch this film, for the love of god, DON'T WATCH THIS FILM!!! I'm gonna go mourn the fact that I wrote such a long, boring review for such a LONG AND BORING AS SHIT MOVIE!!!

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)

2010-02-09T14:44:00.001+01:00

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 is simply fantastic. For everything that was wrong with Kill Bill: Vol. 1, mainly the lack of great dialogue, Vol. 2 has in spadeful amounts. We still have the elements of asian cinema throughout, like the training of the Bride by Pai Mei, this wise old martial arts master. There's long action sequences, but they're GREAT to watch. The music, composed by Robert Rodriguez, reminds you of the old spagetti wetern musin of Ennio Morricone, simple amazing. I honestly preffered Robert Rodriguez's score to Rza's score of the first movie.

Let's go back to Pai Mei for a second. This dude is awesome. He teaches the Bride a trick called "The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique", the deadliest blow in all of martial arts. How freaking cool does that sound! He'll pluck your eye out if you give him a disdainful look. He hates "caucasins, americans, and especially women". He'll snap your neck and break you back in a second. I think he once killed 60 monks in a temple because one of them looked away while he nodded at them to say hello. One of the best characters I've seen of Tarantino's films.

We pick up where the last movie left off. The Bride has just finished off Vernita Green(The killing of Vernita Green happens at the start of Kill Bill: Vol. 1, but chronologically it happens after the killing of O-Ren). We meet another member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, Budd, Bill's brother, played by Michael Madsen. He's given up his "swordplay", hawked hid old Hattori Hanzo sword, which was priceless, for $250, and now works as a bouncer in a "titty bar" and lives alone in a trailer out in the desert. Bill pays him a visit, telling him that The Bride is after them. Budd is the most sympathetic towards The Bride's revengful plan. "She deserves her revenge, and we deserve to die". The Bride is after Elle Driver, Budd and Bill and no one can do a damn thing to stop it. Revenge at it's glorious best.

All in all, this movie is a work of art. If you don't like the first movie, DO NOT dismiss the rest of it, or you will at your OWN PERIL!! Like I did. Enjoy the first as much as you can. You might not enjoy it all. But what's waiting in Kill Bill: Vol. 2 is Quentin Tarantino at his absolute best. Fantastic dialogue, characters we get to know well, and better action sequences in my honest opinion. For those who have seen it think of Pai Mei and the fight with Elle Driver. The genius of it all shines through.

There is THE greatest speach made by Bill: "As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books.... I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman.... The mythology is not only great, it's unique"......"Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race."

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

2010-02-09T13:41:00.000+01:00

I said in one of my earlier posts that I couldn't even watch Tarantino's Kill Bill movies. I thought that Kill Bill: Vol.1 was too flashy, too many homages etc. I just stopped it all right there. I never really gave Kill Bill: Vol. 2 a chance. Well I decided to give the series another crack, and that I was gonna try to enjoy the first movie from the get go. Have it in my mind that what I was watching was enjoyable. And I actually saw the movie in a different light when I took that approach. Most of it is really good when you just give it a chance.

It's not a Tarantino film that you're used to, his great dialogue for one is missing for most of the film, and we don't get the chance to really identify with the characters and get to know them. This is his action movie, he's throwing his hat in the ring with the other great action directors. The plot is simple: Bill (David Carradine) and his Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, made up of Budd(Michael Madsen), O'Ren Oshii(Lucy Liu), Vernita Green(Vivica A. Fox) and Elle Griver(Daryl Hannah) murder former Viper member The Bride(Uma Thurman) on her wedding day, along with the Bride's groom and friends. To make things worse The Bride was pregnant at the time. As Bill shoots her in the head, execution style, she lets him know that the baby is his. The Bride wakes up four years later, and plots bloody revenge on the people responsible. What follows is bloody mayhem.

The action scenes were ok. If I had more knowledge and greater awareness of Chinese Martial Arts cinema, or Japanese Samurai movies I might have apprectiated it more. I once started watching the legendary "Enter The Dragon" starring Bruce Lee and I had to switch it off. I just didn't "get" it. I knew there was something great in it, I just couldn't see it and appreciate it. Same goes for the Kill Bill: Vol. 1, but I went along this time. There's a great action piece with O-Ren Oshii's body gaurd, a 17-year-old psychopathic schoolgirl by the name of Gogo. Her weapon of choice is a Meteor hammer, an ancient Chinese weapon. It's basically a big metal ball with blades on a chain. The scene really makes you sit up in your seat and pay attention in anticipation of violent, well choreographed chaos.

Other parts of the action were too drawn out. The final battle between The Bride and O-Ren, the ex-assassin turned Yakuza boss, takes forever without much happening at all. The setting does look great though. What I liked best about the movie was Tarantino's enthusiasm for worldwide cinema, and how he brought all the elements together. There's spagetti westerns of Sergio Leone, Kung Fu movies, there was stuff in there that i just was not getting, but I could tell that Tarantino was having a great time making it.

Batman: The Movie (1966)

2010-02-08T00:19:00.002+01:00

This film is hilarious. There's nothing serious about it. Just pure entertainment. No real violence. Just a few wacky gadgets, great dialogue and crazy characters. No mental diorders, split personalities, repressed childhood anger, fixations with revenge. Just a guy and his friend who like to dress up in costumes and beat up bad guys. "OOOooohh the plot line is terrible". Who gives a damn.

Batman (Adam West) and Robin(Burt Ward) are called to an emergency situation out at sea. It's a hoax, and while The Caped Crusader and The Boy Wonder tangle with an exploding shark, Commodore Schmidlapp has been captured by the four deadliest super criminals on the planet: The Penguin, the Riddler, Catwoman and the Joker. Batman and Robin's detective work is the best: Batman "Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder" Gordon "You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin" Robin "But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman!" Batman "Yet... an exploding shark was pulling my leg!" Gordon "The Joker!" O'Hara "It all adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle.....er. Riddler?" Detective work at it's finest. I thought it was funny anyway.

I'm guessing this thinking back, but I think that they captured Commodore Schmidlapp to obtain some kind of new technology which they use to build a Dehydration Gun. The gun sucks all the fluid out of a person, turning the person into powder, and then they can rehydrate the person at will. The criminals plan on using this device to capture the heads of the United Nations, and ultimately take over the world. And of course it's down to the Dynamic Duo to save the day. I don't know bout anyone else but I think that is a GREAT plot.

Classic quotes: "Confound it....the batteries are dead!", "It was noble the way that animal threw itself infront of that torpedo to save our lives", "Bon voyage little pussy". Robin "Where's that elavator going" Batman "Downstairs obviously...", "Hand down the shark repellent Batspray", "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb"

Batman Returns (1992)

2010-02-07T20:03:00.000+01:00

Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito and Christopher Walken star in Batman Returns. The film has alot of qualities: great characters, great set design(I don't care about Danny DeVito knocking over the fake gravestone), great dialogue, and penguins with missiles strapped to their backs. It's the best of what I've seen of the current crop of remakes going back to Batman(1989). The original Batman with Adam West, made in 1966 i think, beats all other remakes hands down for me for shear entertainment, but Returns comes a close second.

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman is excellent. Sure the bit about how she becomes Catwoman is not that well thought out. She's pushed out of a building and falls to her death, cats lick her face and she comes back to life as a mean superbitch. Could happen. But i really liked the character. And the amazing outfit. She's after revenge. Kill Max Shrek. A "Die for a die" as she calls it. She's caught between two truths, two sides to her personality, the way way in which Bruce Wayne has diffulculty in reconsiling Batman and Himself. She'd like to be her old, bookish self again while at the same time she's hell bent on revenge.

I liked Michael Keaton's portrayal of the Dark Knight. Val Kilmner and Christain Bale don't come close in their attempts I think. Danny DeVito steals the show for me. You even forget the fact that it's him playing the role. He's hilarious in some scenes. "I'd like to show her my french flapping trick". After being pelted at a press conference: "Who brings tomatoes and eggs to a press conference?" He's thrown into the sewers as a baby because he was so ugly, he's raised by penguins, gains the public's affection, becomes mayor, public find out his evil plans, he returns to the sewers and decides to pay em all back by killing their first borns. What a character. Batman Returns is awesome.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

2010-02-06T22:54:00.000+01:00

I thought this film was very hit and miss. I liked the look and feel of the settings and I liked the idea of the story but i think Tim Burton's execution of the story wasn't that great.

The plot basically is: (1800s I think) Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) returns to London after serving time in prison in Australia for 15 years on a trumped up charge. Benjamin once was happily married to his wife Lucy, and she had just given birth to a child. A Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) was in love with Lucy and had Benjamin beaten and arrested for no reason, then sent to Australia. Judge takes Benjamin's wife and child. The wife gets poisoned and the child is kept against her will. Benjamin returns and finds out that his wife was murdered and vows to take revenge on the Judge. Benjamin was a barber once, he gets his old blades back and he plans on killing the judge with his little "friends" as he call them. He also changes his name to Sweeney Todd. Sounds friggin cool in theory. And if you add the ending to this the idea of this story is really good.

Do you like musicals? Would you sit through a musical slasher? It wouldn't be impossible to make one. The thing is that the story is really great and all, but i just really hated the damn singing. I've seen one or two musicals. By one or two I actually mean only two that I remember well. "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" by Howard Hawks, and "West Side Story" by Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins. Now these are classics, which might make comparing them to classics harsh. But if you want to make a good musical this is what you're up against and you've got to deliver, especially in this day and age where they aren't appreciated as much I think. I really liked the song and dance routines in these two movies. They were great to listen to, and they really contributed to the overall story in a meaningful way. In Sweeney Todd however, Helena Bonham Carter sings about her mince pies (no not her eyes) for about five minutes, without adding much to the story. I thought that about most of the songs.

The gory, slasher bits also went on for ages without much creativity. Sweeney misses the chance to kill the Judge and just decides to kill lots of people instead: the aristocrats for exploiting the poor, and the poor to relieve them of their misery. What a nice guy. Sweeney lures them into his barber shop and slits their throats then dumps their bodies in the basement for making lovely mince pies with. Nellie bakes them. The slashing just goes on for too long without much creativity.

I did like the settings though. His settings in most of his movies are very good. Johnny Depp is always good. Helena Bonham Carter was good. I loved her acting in Fight Club. The story is great in theory. The ending was fantastic. The singing just really pissed me off.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

2010-02-04T00:01:00.001+01:00

Pulp Fiction is Quentin Tarantino's second film, released in 1994. One of my all time favourites, it's up there in my top three alongside Rio Bravo and Chinatown. It's simply amazing. I could try and go into detail about what techniques I think he is employing and so on, but I think it's just for the fact that it's so entertaining is the reason I love it. It's up there with the likes of Indiana Jones, Jaws, Terminator 2 and Rio Bravo for films that I come away with a buzz after watching.

To be honest, I wasn't all that crazy about Reservoir Dogs for some reason. To me it seems as though he knew how and what kind of movie to make that would sell, and get his foot in the door in the business, and he did it. I think he's got such an awareness of the industry that he knows exactly which buttons to press to make it work. And that's why I think he made this movie. He knew people would eat it up. It is a great movie, would trump most other Hollywood movies, but not my favourite Tarantino movie.

But back to Pulp Fiction. Samuel L. is fantastic. "I just figured it was some cold blooded shit to tell a nigger 'for I put a cap in his ass!" How great was his performance. They all talked about John Travolta's come back role of his career but Samuel L. Jackson was amazing. Ofcourse he had, and probably will never get better, dialogue written by a genius, but as Tarantino himself says "The S.L.J knows how to sing my dialogue". His delivery was impecable.

Not saying that John Travolta wasn't any good. He was superb. Just not as good as S.L.J for this particular movie. He was really cool, and laid back. He never got the rush of blood to the head when he had the chance to bang Mia Wallace, the Boss's wife. "You're gonna go back in there, have your drink, say goodbye, go home, jack off, and that's all you're gonna do". He was definatley tempted, but the story about Tony "Rocky Horror" would make anyone think twice. "Nigger fell four stories...kinda developed a speach impediment after that". That sucks for Tony. Another bit of the movie I was laughing at with Vincent was his run in with Butch, played by Bruce Willis. Butch: "You looking at something friend?" Vince: "You ain't my friend, palooka" Butch: "Whas that?" Vince: "I think you heard me just fine, punchy..." Like how did Tarantino develope such an ear for great dialogue.

The music in this film is one of the best things about it. Well really most things about the movie are brilliant: casting, script, camera work (love the homage to Sergio Leone with the closeups), editing, set design in Jack Rabbit Slim's. But I really friggin dig the music. There's Dick Dale and the Del Tones with the iconic "Misirlou". If you get a chance listen to "Banzai Washout" which is not on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, but it's fantastic. Dusty Springfeild's "Son of a Preacher Man". Every one knows that one. And much more you just have to check em out.

I hope he gets back to the form of Pulp Fiction soon. My second favourite of his films was actually "Inglorious Basterds" but he's not quite hitting the same mark. I couldn't even watch the Kill Bill movies. I don't know why: Too showy, too many homages, too stylistic, it just didn't do it for me at all. Same with Death Proof. Jackie Brown I thought was good. Watch Pulp Fiction!

Rio Bravo (1959)

2010-02-03T01:18:00.000+01:00

Rio Bravo is one of my favourite movies of all time. It's directed by Howard Hawks and released in 1959. After a few years in Europe, Hawks returned with this film in response to "High Noon" directed by Fred Zinnemann, a film in which the town sheriff spends most of his time running around lookin for help from the town's people in response to the conflict. Hawks turned that notion on it's head with a sheriff played by Wayne who accepts help from no one, and never asks for favours.

The casting is superb except for maybe Ricky Nelson who plays Colorado Ryan, but it was his debut nonetheless, and considering that he does quite well alongside the other seasoned actors such as John Wayne (John T. Chance) and Walter Brennan (Stumpy). The outstanding performance has to go to singer/actor Dean Martin for the portrayel of an ex sharp shooting dupty who's drivin to drink over a woman. As the story goes, Martin flew out from Las Vegas after a big show for the audition. Howard Hawks was so impressed with Dean Martin that he hired him right there on the spot playing the part of Dude, the town drunk or "Borachon" as the local mexicans like to call him.

I think I heard somewhere that on the first day of shooting, Martin came onto the set dressed in "nice lookin" clothes and started acting anything but drunk, Hawks said somethin like "what the fuck are you doin?", and told him to go get changed and rethink the way in which he was approaching his role. I guess Martin kinda fell right into his Las Vegas stage act but he came back onto the set with the "Dude" we see in the movie. Superbly friggin done. We even get to hear him sing with Ricky:

Angie Dickonson plays "Feathers". She's awsome. Like in another of my favourite Hawks movies "His Girl Friday" with Rosalind Russell's character, Feathers doesn't take shit from no one. The big gruff, super cool John Wayne fumbles his words and gets nervous around her. "You forgot your pants sheriff" is a classic quote. Three guys with guns point their guns at Chance and Colorado, right after knocking out Dude in a shed up the road, Feathers throws a flower pot through the window and all hell breaks loose.

The plot basically is: a guy (Joe Burdette) is arrested for murder. Joe's brother is the local cattle baron, who employs alot of men to do whatever he so pleases. Sheriff John T. Chance with the help of an old cripple, Stumpy (Walter Brennan), and the town drunk, Dude, are gonna hold this guy in a cell in the small town of Rio Bravo until the US Marshal arrives in about a week or so to take Joe. In the meantime, Nathan Burdette's men lay seige to the town and wait for their chance to rescue the good for nothin brother of Nathan. A stage coach arrives from Fort Worth. On this stage coach are Feathers, Colorado Ryan (Ricky Nelson) and Pat Wheeler, played by John Wayne's buddy Ward Bond. You'll know Ward Bond as the Sheriff in "The Searchers". It's John Wayne, a cripple, a drunk, a girl, and a newer younger sharpshooter in Colorado against Nathan Burdette and about 30 of his men or more. An absolute classic.