The Man with Two Brains (1983)

The Man with Two Brains is directed by Carl Reiner and stars Steve Martin and Kathleen Turner. It's a spoof of mad scientist movies. If you're not a fan of those types of movies some of the jokes will fly over your head, but there's still enough non- referenced humour to laugh at.

Steve Martin plays Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, a mad scientist that has developed a new type of brain surgury. He screws off the tops of his patients heads to make things easy peasy japaneasy while he works his magic on thier brains. Kathleen Turner plays a gold digging biatch from hell, Dolores Benedict. Hfuhruhurr knocks her down with his Mercedes, and has to perform brain surgory on the lovely Dolores. The operation is successful and the two fall in love and get married, and everything is hunky dory, ....or so it seems. Dum, dum,duuuum. Dolores is only after his money, Hfuhruhurr falls in love with a brain in a jar, and somewhere thrown into the mix is an elavator serial killer who injects people with window cleaner. Will we find out who the serial killer is? Will Hfuhruhurr and Dolores's relationship last? Will Hfuhruhurr's love affair with the brain in the jar be found out? Dum, Dum, Duuuum.

It's actually really, really funny for the first hour or so. Then the laughter peters out but it's still interesting enough to watch. This is the funniest I've ever seen Steve Martin. Kathleen Turner is savagely sexy, and spoofs her sultry image of that time quite well. It's just very enjoyable and there's nothing to really hate about it. I'd give it a 7/10.

Kingpin (1996)

Kingpin was directed by the Farrelly brothers, and stars Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Vanessa Angel, and Bill Murray. It's hilarious at times, and at other times the jokes just bomb. Maybe the intention was that they knew that some of the jokes would be so bad that they'd turn out funny in a camp sort of way, while really the fact is that some were just terrible. But, as I said, there were some really funny moments as well.

Woody stars as Rory Munson. As a kid, he's taught the ins and outs of bowling by his dad. Rory developes amazing bowling skillzzzz. When he's around 19 he plans to go on the Proffesional Bowlers Tour, after winning the 1979 Iowa state amateur championship. He wins his first tournament on tour by beating Ernie McCracken (Bill Murray). Soonafter, he teams up with McCracken as they try thier luck at bowler hustling. After beating a redneck priest, they are found out and McCracken ditches Rory. The rednecks stick Rory's hand into a ball retrieval mechanism, and he looses his hand. Cut to 17 years later, and Rory is an alcoholic with a comb over, and a hook for a hand. He makes up for unpaid rent by having sex with his disgusting landlady. He comes across amish Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid) bowling with a 270 average. (I don't bowl but I'm guessing that's good). Rory convinces Ishmael to go along with him to a $1,000,000 winner-take-all tournament in Reno, Nevada. Along the way they pick up the super sexy Claudia (Vanessa Angel). Ishmael must win to save his amish land, and there's a bit of a love story that developes between Rory and Claudia.

As I said, at times it can be hilarious(Claudia to Rory,refering to his hook hand "Must be hard when you're spanking your monkey". Ishmael to Rory "You've got a monkey?"), and at other times the reliance on the disgusting jokes are nothing but disgusting and far from funny. There's homages to films like "the Hustler" which I found quite interesting, having LOVED The Hustler. Bill Murray is quite good as the arrogant, slimey, cocky, king of all assholes Ernie McCracken. As others have commented, more Ernie would have done the film alot of good. The film also feels very disjointed at times. Characters dissapear for ages then return and you're like "where the hell was he for the last half hour??"

Overall, this is a movie with a few decent strikes, but a lotta gutterballs.(hahaha............)

The Oscars 2010

I've got to admit that I never really watch the Oscars. I mean I've seen bits and bobs here and there but I've never really sat down to watch an entire show. Well I did now and here are my thoughts on the whole affair: Entertaining enough. Better than I expected. You've got to take the good with the bad.

The Red Carpet
Well I watched E! for all the red carpet stuff, and Ryan Seacrest is a bit of a twit, but I got over that. Some of the jibber jabber is quite entertaining once you start to take an objective look and just observe the craziness as it's presented in front of you. Giuliana Rancic and the gay guy(can't find his name anywhere) commentary is hilarious, and not because they're funny themselves. When they spot an actress it's "Ok, Ok freeze the frame right there. Loooovin her, looovin this right here, all this bit here, the way it starts off small and then goes around the back....loooovin it" and they can both start to disagree, before sussing each other out and finally coming to the same conclusion. Normally "she's loookin stuuuuning!" while really it's far from the truth. Keepin it real alright.

The Show
George Clooney looked a bit drunk, and there's a debate going on whether he was in on the act when Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were taking shots at him. I myself think he was in on the act. And if not, who gives a crap.

The Presenters
Steve and Alec as mentioned above were really entertaining in a "we can't present!! what are we doing here???" sort of way. Some of the jokes bombed, but you'd still had to laugh.

The Interpretive Dancers
Who the hell are these guys???!! Sure they're good at what they do, but what's it all about really?? If you just stopped for a second and said to yourself "what the hell is really going on??" without getting caught up in it all, you'd see it's just a bunch of people jumpin around doin their own cool little moves. There were moments when there was synchronicity(hope that's a word) but the rest of the time it was just absolute madness.

The Awards
Well The Hurt Locker cleaned up, and to be honest I was quite surprised. I mean I loved The Hurt Locker, but Avatar did shockingly bad. It got best make up(whatever the award is for that), best special effects(no brainer) and Best Cinematography. Hurt Locker, after taking everything at the Baftas, continued the form with best director, best picture, two awards for sound, best editing, and best original screenplay. Nothin for Tarantino! Where's the justice?? Well I.B was never gonna win much, but I'd have liked to have seen a bit more appreciation for it. Christoph Waltz did win for Best Supporting actor though. And he deserved it.

Overall, not a bad night's entertainment.

Ben-Hur (1959)

Ben-Hur(1959) is an epic film directed by William Wyler starring Charlton Heston, and it's 3 hours thirty two minutes long. It's incredibly long, but somehow it's not quite the bore that I thought it might turn out to be. The thing that really stands out in this film is not the performances, and certainly not the dialogue, but there are some great action scenes and incredible set designs.

Charlton Heston plays a well off merchant Jew, Judah Ben-Hur. His childhood friend Messala(Stephen Boyd), originally a jew, has returned as a Roman Tribune(one of the higher ups in the army). They're all buddy buddy happy to see eachother once again, but things soon turn sour when Messala asks Judah to basically become an informant, and turn in some of the Jews who are rebeling against the Roman occupation of thier land. Judah refuses and Messala is very angry about this, boo hoo, and they both go thier separate ways. When a Roman Governer visits the town, Judah's sister accidently knocks over a loose tile from the roof, and it falls hitting the Governer and killing him. Messala arrests Judah, even though he knows it was an accident, and sends him to the galleys. Judah's mother and sister are also arrested for no reason and are sent down into the dungeons. Judah vows to return and take revenge on Messala and reunite with his family. Revenge! Hell Yeah!

The chariot race is obviously the best part about this film. It's simply fantastico. I don't need to go on about this. Most people know that there is an awesome chariot race that everyone needs to see once before they die. But it really is that good. The one thing that annoyed me about this film is the religion aspect of it. Spoiler! Judah basically gets kicked in the nuts at every turn he makes, and it's cool to see him rise up and take revenge against Messala. But just when he's about take on Rome(now that would have been cool to see), since Rome the empire is basically THE enemy throughout(it turned his old Jewish pal into an almighty prick), religion creeps into the movie and saves the day! Basically magic happens. Hocus pocus. Judah's family, who bacame lepers in the dungeons, are totally cured because they see Jesus being crucified! What the hell is that about?? So the message is that no matter what happens, believe in Jesus or something, and one day if you're a leper some sort of wizardry might happen and totally cure you???? I could go on about it but you really have to see it for yourself to make your own mind up about it. That part made no sense to me.

Anyway, overall this was not such a chore to watch, given the length of time and all. Charlton sucks as a hero(I think that he'd have suited the villain role much better, he's just that sort of asshole), but the action scenes and some of the revenge themes makes this somewhat enjoyable to watch.

Righteous Kill (2008)

Righteous Kill is a film directed by Jon Avnet, starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, and is seriously one big waste of time. It tries so hard, tries it's best to fit in with the cool kids of crime thrillers, but really there is no point to the film at all.

Two New York police detectives, Turk(De Niro) and his partner Rooster(Pacino), have worked as a team for years. They've grown tired of seeing criminals walk free because of lack of evidence and other such things. We get a sense that Turk especially is goin nuts. We are constantly interupted throughout the film with footage of Turk confessing to a number of killings. And when we join the pair throughout the working day, they come across murders that appear to be have been commited by a cop. Ok so we get the "subtle" hint that it's Turk. It's up to a rival duo of detectives who are suspicious of Turk to bring him down.

While the whole idea has potential to be interesting, the script, directing and editing of this film flushes that potential down the crapper. The ending is just so obvious it's beyond rediculous. Towards the end you get a sense that Pacino and De Niro are just having a laugh. They simply couldn't pull this one off by acting alone. This movie is an absolute waste of time.

Top Gun (1986)

Top Gun. Where to begin? Directed by Tony Scott. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Starring the white toothed wonder kid Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Kelly McGillis, Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins(never spotted him at all!), and Anthoney Edwards. Well it's all laughs from beginning to end. It's one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen due it's pure comedic value. You'd think that they were acually trying to parody the types of characters we see in this film.

I mean did people really think that Maverick was cool back then? I can understand kids liking a movie like this "Wow, planes! Jet-fighter jackets! Awesome!". But adults? Who were the ones forking out $353 million in theatres around the world in 1986, catapulting Tom "You're a Jerk! You're a jerk!" Cruise to stardom? Who's resposible for this!!?? I'd like to know! Questions need to be answered. People need to reflect, and take accountability. This is a very serious matter. Young kids were led to believe that this kind of behaviour was the way to go. "Ok kids, to be cool, to get the chicks, you need to learn cool technospeak, and you need a call-sign like 'Maverick' or 'Iceman', just something thats really super awesome sounding".

The plot is, and I really can't believe that somebody could write a script like this, is: Tom Cruise plays Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, one arrogant, cocky, sonofabitch jet fighter pilot. Him and his pal "Goose" are sent to a Jet Fighter school, where only the elite can attend and they're all in competition with eachother to win the prize of "Top Gun". And they're all really serious about it. It's hilarious. Maverick and Goose's biggest rivals to the Top Gun throne are Iceman(Val Kilmer) and Slider. There's plenty of macho "we're better than you"...."No you're not!" banter going on. Maverick meets a girl in the bar and acts like a jackass....IT GETS COMPLICATED!.......she's the Top Gun flight instructor! OH NO! And the rest of this stupid story just plays itself out with the odd scene of the pilots playing volyball with no shirts and only jeans on and Tom Cruise riding his super cool motorbike really fast whenever he reflects over his stupid life. It's just really, really funny to see people taking themselves so seriously. That's what makes this film so great to watch.

People who are fans of movies like "Fast and Furious" and such will love this film. It's all about going really fast, being the best, and lookin cool while doing it. People who strike poses, suck their stomachs in and lean against objects in a masculine sort of way. I really don't get it. But it's great fun to watch these people.

Notorious (2009)

I have to admit that I actually liked this movie. I fell for it. I could somehow relate to Biggie Smalls and the world that he lived in. He's a guy who has his problems, he wants to turn his situation around, he wants a better life for himself and his mom, move out of the streets, and live life on his own terms. It was great to see him get out of prison and make the choice to use his god given talents of amazing rap skillz(with a z, oh ya like the cool people do it) to make things happen for himself. I really liked the character of the man at the start. Sure he whored himself around the place, dealt drugs, carried a piece but who are we to judge? Who here hasn't dabbled in such business??? Anyone? Anyone?

You all know about Biggie Smalls. The rap dude who had a feud with Tupac Shakur. East side "you guys in the west suck at rap!" versus west "no way you suck!". Well Piff Paff Waddy Daddy "Sean Combes" produced this film along with Biggie Smalls' mother. I DIDNT KNOW THIS AT BEFORE WATCHING THIS FILM. I actually fell for the sensationalism of it all. I thought "hey, Puff is a really cool guy", the way he basically nearly single handedly elevated Biggie Smalls to stardom. "And Biggie's mom, well she is just a heavenly saint. And as for Biggie, well he has his problems but he's just really a big ol' loveable teddybear. Then I listened to one of his songs on YouTube. Honest to God I heard him say something about wacking a kid across their face on communion day. WACK! What a great guy. But then there's the argument "well geez get over it just a song!" Ya but it's stil kindof an odd thing to rap about isn't it?

So basically this film is totally biased. Tupac is portrayed as a raging lunatic who starts the feud. Biggie is the gooddie, Tupac is the baddie, and the record is set straight once and for all! Thanks Puff for sorting that one out!

Wayne's World (1992)

Eh, this film was ok. There were bits which I liked, and there's bits where I roled my eyes up to the ceiling like "god that's friggin stupid" but I still came away with the feeling that this film was quite unique. But then I've read in reviews that this film is basically a remake of Bill and Ted's Excellently Awesome Adventure. So there goes my theory on it's uniqueness. I still liked it anyhow for the most part. But some scenes were just so so stupid that I was looking for some hidden joke to it all where there was nothing.

There's alot of stupidity in this film. You know how The Simpsons are basically flogging a dead horse playing off of Homer's stupidity the whole time? That's how I feel about most of the humour in this movie. I kept waiting for a joke with a clever angle, but no it was just "these guys are stupid, stupid is funny, we'll settle with that". There's a scene where Wayne(Mike Myers) and Garth(Dana Carvey) bump into the local police officer. Wayne goes "Hey, what's that bacon I smell? He he. Someone cooking some pork hehehe" and the policeman goes "Oh I get it, it's coz I'm a policeman is it?". Why would they make the policeman say such a stupid line??? I thought that he might have followed it on with something but that was it. They pointed out the obvious and left it at that! I know I sound now like I HATE the movie but the jokes were really not that good.

What I DID LIKE about it was the idea of the story. Two "slacker" dudes run a cable access television show out of Wayne's parent's basement. That has funniness written all over it. There's alot that could be done with that. Think of Del Boy in "Only Fools And Horses". Del Boy tries to be so "cool" and really sophisticated but he's so stupid that he can never get anything right despite him trying his bestest. The thing is that Wayne and Garth think that their being stupid is funny, and most of the time it's not it's just really stupid. Whereas Del Boy is funny because he tries so hard not to be stupid while everyone around him is laughin their ass off at him. I'd have liked Wayne and Garth to be really serious about their cable show.

Other things which I LIKED(I did like some of this film!) were the pop culture references. Spoiler. You have the T1000(Robert Patrick) from Terminator 2 show up looking for John Connor, scaring the pants off of Wayne. There's spoofs of Laverne and Shirley(which I've never seen but liked the idea of the spoof afterwards) and Scooby Doo. Meat Loaf and Alice Cooper make appearances. There's a great scene, which many may be aware of, of the "dudes" headbanging in the car along to Bohemian Rhapsody. Alot of phrases were started in this movie like "that's what she said","Shwing!" and (every review that I've read has incorporated this in some clever, original way)..."NOT!" Haha hilarious. Not so funny now but back then, before people had started using those sayings in every joke, I imagine they might have been quite funny.

So there it is. I liked the IDEA! of the story and the many pop references but the humour in it, FOR ME, was terrible. They were "Haha that's so funny....(while you look around to see if anyone else is laughing)" jokes that really weren't that good. I'd say overall...Eh, ok.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

I really liked this movie. I've read alot of reviews where people were were unhappy with the length of the film, with the pacing, and the fact that the actors seemed to take forever to spit their lines out. I know how they feel in this situation, having being bored to death recently watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", but I've got to say that I was glued to the screen from start to finish with this movie. I love character studies for some reason. And alot of people might argue the fact that this might not be the greatest character study ever made, but these types of films generally draw me in quite easily.

The plot: Robert Ford(Casey Affleck) at age twenty is a keen admirer of the legendary outlaw Jesse James(Brad Pitt). He's practically in love with guy, you get the feeling that he wants to BE Jesse James. Most people have heroes, but this guy is obsessed. He wants to join the James gang in their latest escapade: a train robbery. Frank and Jesse run the gang of low level criminals looking to make an easy buck. Frank thinks Bob hasn't "the ingredients" to make it in the gang, but Jesse is flattered into taking in Bob. After the robbery, Jesse let's Bob stick around for his own amusement, and tells his other associates to leave. After a few days, Bob's obssesiveness creeps Jesse out, and Jesse tells him to leave. From here on out, Bob Ford starts to see his hero in a different light. On a few occasions when they cross paths again, Jesse taunts and embarrasses Bob. Bob developes a sort of love/hate relationship with Jesse. Meanwhile Jesse's former associates are planning on turning in him to collect a bounty. Jesse, the clever guy that he is, senses that his "pals" might be plotting against him. He surrounds himself with stupid people, guys that are too cowardly to "do something", namely Bob. We see Jesse struggling with depression and paranoia for the remainder of the film. He feels trapped, like he knows what's coming and it's just a matter of time before it happens. Being the smart guy that he is, he decides to groom Bob as his murderer. Suicide by another person's hand. He'll be remembered as a legend, Bob will fill the role as Judas. The title of the movie could nearly be called "The assassination of Robert Ford, by the Legendary Jesse James".

Brad Pitt is very convincing as Jesse James. For the most part, we listen into his posse's conversations. They're afraid, they're always plotting their next move behind his back, and it's great when we see Jesse confront them. He sits in the room and just observes them, while they fidget around, mumble their words, make up stories. Jesse sees straight through them all. Jesse James knows people. Like any great leader, his strength lies in knowing how people work. The dishonesty of their actions are as clear as day to him. And for the most part he plays along with their bullshitting, but quietly ticking away in the back of his mind, he's scheming, plotting and evaluating the situation. Then we have Jesse's fall into depression and it is well acted by Pitt.

It's not what you might expect out of a film made about Jesse James. Just one solitary train robbery. No great shootouts. And the point of the film really is Robert Ford's unnatural obssession with Jesse James. At one point Jesse says it out plainly "Do you want to be like me.....or do you want to BE me?" It's a film about the role of heroes, and about relying on them too heavily and not relying on yourself. The honest man in the movie is Jesse James, even though he plays along with the falseness sometimes. Every other person that he's around wears a mask. But Jesse sees through it all. The only exception to this is Robert Ford. But he's only honest because he's stupid. He hasn't the ability to put on an act. And his stupidity is his downfall.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

This film is exceptional. The animation? No CGI back then, and I couldn't care less. There's more feeling about the animation in my opinion when I can see that it has been drawn frame by frame by an artist. Some of the kids programs that I see these days are downright terrible. "Computers suck, damn new age technology, these futuristic demon machines will spell dooooooom for us allllllllll......". Alright I don't hate computer animation THAT much. When it's done right it's pretty darn good. But I miss seeing the old style cartoons: popeye the sailor man, donald duck, daffy and the rest. I'll say it right here, right now: I DON'T LIKE THE NEW COMPUTER GENERATED WINNIE THE POOH AND MICKEY MOUSE CLUB!!" There I said it. You heard me. But seriously there's no FEELING to it. Maybe I'm just way too nostalgic. Move on Jimbob. Gee wiz like.


But back to Roger. This film has feeeeling. It's fantasic. Animation, film noir, one of the most terrifying villains ever captured on film (he scared the pants off me!!), a great plot, terrific acting (taking into account that this was new at the time) all rolled into one helluva masterpiece of work. It's just fun to watch. Great entertainment. I'm sorry that I at one period of my life strayed away from these types of films alltogether. Thought provoking, intellectual films were the order of the day: A Clockwork Orange, Citizen Kane, 2001, Barry Lyndon (Ya mostly Kubrick!) blah fuckin blah all lacking in one vital ingrediant: Entertainment. They're great and all in certain abstract ways, but Who Framed Roger Rabbit is what I love about cinema: The ability to watch something and walk away feeling good about youself, and not go lookin for that nearest bridge to jump off. Am now I'm too tired to explain the plot so I'll just say watch this movie, it's friggin awesome.